Page 60 of Confessions of a Christmasholic

‘I paid you back this morning,’ Layla told her, her tone cold. ‘Your money should hit your account any moment.’

‘For real?’ Sutton whipped back. Before she left home, her trust was instinctual, unwavering. Now it…wasn’t.

‘Look, if you’re going to be bitchy and snotty, I’m hanging up. You always get like this when you feel threatened, Sutton,’ Layla’s tone softened, and Sutton heard her long sigh. ‘Why are we fighting, Sutt? Are you really that mad at me?’

Sutton started to explain she’d been a hair’s breadth of being homeless, that she’d run out of options, when she heard Layla’s sniffle.

‘I’m so hurt by your lack of faith in me, Sutt. I know it took longer than I said it would to repay you, but I’d never let you down, Sutton. I’veneverlet you down before.’

Sutton swallowed, instantly catapulted back into a maelstrom of emotion. Layla, just a year older than her, was there when Athol, her stepdad, told her he was leaving, and Layla held her while she cried. Layla helped her take care of her siblings – feeding them, bathing them, getting them dressed, while her mum sobbed in her room. Layla made her realise that if someone didn’t do something, they’d run out of money and social services would rip her family apart. Layla called her mum in to help, and they got her mum out of bed and found her a job. It was Layla who got her through those dark, dark times. Without her input, so wise despite being so young, Sutton would’ve drowned in the hopelessness of their situation.

She owed her. She always would. Okay, she messed up repaying her, messed her around, but was it a good enough reason to sacrifice a friendship? Everyone messed up at some point.

‘So where do we go from here?’ Sutton asked, rubbing her fingertips over her forehead. She was grateful to have money in her bank account, of course she was, but there was still a rip in their relationship. Could it be mended?

‘I need you to get over yourself by the time we meet up in London,’ Layla informed her. ‘Because, shit, I’ll be pissed if, after flying for twelve hours, you meet me with a sulky face.’

Whoa, she wasn’t the one who messed up here. ‘Hold on a sec…’

‘The hotel room is booked and paid for, right? And did you manage to get tickets for a show?’

Sutton, her head reeling, had to work hard to keep up. ‘Two actually,Abba VoyageandBook of Mormon. I booked them before I left and I told you—’

‘And you’ve organised the sightseeing and transport, right?’

‘Again, I did that before I left Cape Town.’

Sutton wondered if Layla included the money she owed her for their London expenses when she did the bank transfer earlier. She doubted it. Damn, this wasn’t how they were. She didn’t react like this. But being nearly homeless, definitely broke, had made her a little bitter.

‘Just checking, there’s no need to be testy.’ Oh, Sutton thought there was. Layla had yet to apologise. ‘I have a couple of things to sort out before I leave, but I should be good,’ said Layla.

Shouldbe good? What did that mean? Sutton tasted panic at the back of her throat. ‘Are you suggesting there might be a problem with meeting me in London, Layla?’

‘God, Sutton,chill. You are always so damn over-dramatic,’ Layla retorted.

Sutton stared at her feet. The ice in her veins wasn’t due to the icy wind or freezing day. If Layla didn’t meet her in London, if she didn’t make the effort to be there after everything she’d put her through, then their relationship couldn’t be salvaged.

‘It’s a celebration of our thirtieth birthday, Layla. We’ve been planning this for half our lives. Christmas and New Year in London,’ she stated, proud at how calm she felt. This UK and Europe trip was her biggest dream, sometimes heronlydream, and spending the week between Christmas and New Year with her best friend would be the culmination of a lifetime of her scrimping and saving.

‘I know!’ Layla howled. ‘Will you stop hounding me about it?’

Sutton pulled her glove off with her teeth and gripped the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger. ‘If you can’t make it, tell me now, Layla.’

‘Will you stop overreacting, for Christ’s sake? You are so fucking dramatic, Sutton, so emotionally demanding. I said I’ll be there, so I’ll be there, okay?’

Sutton wanted to believe her, but was she being a sucker? Was she too emotional or was Layla manipulating her? It felt like she was, but Sutton couldn’t be sure because she’d never been at odds with Layla before. Not to this extent, anyway. Oh, Layla could be difficult, and she was strong-willed and selfish. When she didn’t get her way, she often sulked or nagged until she did.

She’d never felt this off-balance, this unsettled, and a huge part of Sutton wanted to tell her to forget their trip, to cancel their plans. And Layla’s cavalier attitude to her well-being and safety made her question her love and loyalty…

‘I’m so sorry, Sutton,’ Layla softly stated, sounding genuinely contrite. ‘I’m feeling so sick about the position I put you in, so guilty that you went through so much stress because of me. And you know that when I feel vulnerable, or when I know I’ve done wrong, I lash out.’

She did. Layla hit first, and said sorry later. It was just the way she was.

‘I can’t wait to see you, it’s been so long,’ Layla continued, sounding so much like the girl she grew up with. Sutton’s eyes watered. ‘This place isn’t the same without you and I feel like I’ve lost a limb. Maybe that’s why I’m so grouchy. I can’t wait to see you, to have you all to myself for a week! We’ll have the best time, Sutt.’

Maybe.

No, of course, they would. They’d just hit a bump in the road, all they needed to do was to reset their friendship. Layla washerperson, it would be fine. ‘Shall I meet you at Heathrow?’ she asked.

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