Page 38 of The Baby Behind Their Marriage Merger

‘And why are we out here when there’s a toasty fire inside?’ Jude asked.

Addi gestured to the view. ‘Because it’s beautiful,’ she replied.

This was the last of Cole Thorpe’s hotels and they’d be leaving tomorrow. Jude had all the information he needed to decide which properties he wanted and her involvement was no longer necessary.

When they returned to South Africa, they would be forced to act like colleagues, because no one could suspect that they’d been carrying on a rip-roaring, hot-as-Hades affair. They would have to act, look and be professional and she would be going home to her house, he to his.

Where did they go from here? The question was at the front of her mind, and had been since they’d left Cape Town ten days ago, the day after their fight and just a few hours after she’d had her first doctor’s visit. The intense feeling that they were on borrowed time was something she couldn’t rid herself of.

It was hard to accept that she was in too deep, but the reality was that she’d allowed her feelings to run away from her. If she wasn’t already in love with Jude, then she was damn close, and she knew she needed to shore up her defences. She couldn’t stop herself from sleeping with him—she was a woman, not a saint—but she needed to protect her heart.

But how? And was it too late?

And why did she feel as if she was on a countdown, as if there was a timer somewhere ready to detonate a bomb in their lives? It had to be because she was worried about the girls and the custody case; it had nothing to do with Jude and their ‘out of Africa’, oh-so-temporary fling.

She didn’t think.

‘What do you think of this place?’ Jude asked, putting his back to the view. ‘It’s really small.’

The boutique hotel only had five rooms, was incredibly isolated and required a helicopter flight to reach the hotel. But the building was stunning: a modern, steel-and-wood, open-plan lower floor with glass walls on three sides enabling the guests to have a one-eighty-degree view of the dunes and endless sea. It reminded her of Jude’s house in Franschhoek.

The five double rooms were massive and each had private balconies and hot tubs, fireplaces and enormous beds. Of all the places they’d visited, this was the most stunning.

‘Are you asking me to answer professionally or personally?’

‘Both. Professionally, first.’

‘Well, like the ski lodge Cole and Lex are stuck at, I think this was another passion project by Cole’s father. It’s booked solid in spring and summer but the place empties in autumn and winter. It’s covering its costs, just, but you are never going to make money from it.’

Jude’s eyes slammed into hers. ‘And personally?’

‘It’s...’ She hesitated, unsure about how to explain. She didn’t have the words to tell him that, from the moment she’d left the helicopter and looked through the dunes to the sea, she’d felt captivated. That she could walk the desolate beach for hours at a time and feel rejuvenated, that it was an almost spiritual experience to be here.

She chewed on her bottom lip. ‘I think this is the place where my soul feels most at home,’ she quietly admitted.

He didn’t respond to her comment, and after twenty seconds she risked looking at him to see his eyes on her face. ‘That sounds weird, right?’ she lifted her shoulders to her ears. ‘I don’t know how else to explain it but, every time I look out to sea, when I walk that wooden slatted path to the beach, I feel like I am home.’

Jude lowered his eyebrows and nodded. ‘It’s a pretty special place but I did not expect you to feel so strongly about it.’

She didn’t understand it either. She loved her home, but it was noisy and chaotic, filled with girls fighting, laughing or yelling. This place was pure serenity.

She shook her head and lifted her mug to her lips again. She was being silly, that was all. This wasn’t where she belonged; she’d never return to this place again.

Real life wasn’t isolated houses on a desolate beach, days and nights spent with the sexiest, smartest man she’d ever known. It wasn’t flitting about in private planes and having five-star experiences at some of the best places on the continent. It wasn’t making love outdoors on blankets in front of fires while the cold wind roared outside, or in hot tubs while elephants strolled past a private chalet. It wasn’t running into the warm Indian ocean late at night or early in the morning, swimming with wild dolphins or sleeping in treehouses.

Real life was in Cape Town, behind her desk at Thorpe Industries—or at another corporation, maybe Fisher International. It was growing and birthing this baby. It was telling Lex and the girls that she was going to be a mother—God, she hated keeping secrets from them—and figuring out how to let Jude be a part of their baby’s life.

‘Are you okay?’ Jude asked, placing his hand on her arm. ‘You look a little pale.’

‘Just cold,’ Addi told him. ‘There’s a fire inside, why are we standing out here?’

‘I said that ten minutes ago,’ Jude pointed out as he followed her inside. Addi walked up to the freestanding fireplace and held her freezing hands out to the flames. She sighed when Jude wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her hair.

‘Are you sure you’re okay, Ads?’

No.

But she nodded, glad he couldn’t see the tears welling in her eyes. Yes, of course she was. She had no choicebutto be okay. She was responsible for herself and for three other people—and a half—and nobody was going to ride to her rescue and patch her up, prop her up.

---