Page 87 of Unlikely Omega

“All? If that’s all?” He snorts. “If all I wanted was to make a political statement, I’d have gone straight to the rebels. If I didn’t care about you, I’d have let the Drakoryas take you. He sure looked like he wanted to. If I didn’t feel like my heart is ripped out of my fucking chest every time I’m far from you…” He chokes on something, turns his face away. “Damn.”

I tug on my hands but he doesn’t release them. He’s breathing hard. “You feel it, too.”

He nods. “You’re my mates. I know enough of Fae history and studies to know that the Fae laws of attraction and love, of family and bonds, are different than the humans’ and it seems… it seems we got enough Fae blood in our veins to also function that way. Fated mates, marked by scents that draw one another, clans instead of two-person couples, many alphas and one omega… I’ve read all about that and I’m sure Finnen has, too. Though, you… It’s not normal for an omega to be in such pain.”

“And you would know about omega pains and heat, how? Is that in the books, too?”

He shrugs a little. His gray gaze returns to mine, meeting it boldly. “Scholars have ever been fascinated by omegas. It makes sense, since scholars have mostly been men throughout history. What do you expect in a patriarchal society? They write about omegas with contempt but you can tell they’re excited about the concept. About the perfuming, the heat, the need, the alphas’ knots, the rut. The animalistic side of sex that humans have tried to suppress.”

Familiar heat washes over my face, over my body.

“Suppressing all things Fae because they don’t fit with the human social and religious rules, because they offend human sensibilities, because humans are used to hiding, always hiding their needs and desires. Take Finnen, for instance.”

“Finnen?” I shake my head, confused. “What does he have to do with human rules?”

“Have you ever met a man more governed by human rules than him? You asked me why he’s behaving like that.” Taj shrugs. “Maybe it’s because I kissed him.”

“Is that why he looked so flummoxed when you did it? But so what? I have kissed him before.”

“But you’re soft. A girl. An omega. I’m a burly alpha male. I think he didn’t see it coming.”

“Course not. He’s blind.”

Taj snickers, hides it behind a cough. “Right.”

“So you kissed him, and that upset him?”

“No.” Taj winks. “He’s upset because he liked it.”

I’m curled up under an army blanket Taj pulled over me, under a tree. He carried me there, made me comfortable, and went to tend to his horse.

From here, I can see Finnen doing something by the stream. Fishing, perhaps? Not sure. I’m hungry, but mainly I’m in pain and exhausted, and all the things both men told me swirl in my head, mingling and intertwining, confusing me.

Finnen says he has emotions for me.

Taj says he feels his heart is ripped out when we’re apart.

Finnen is still bound by his vows and code of ethics.

Taj is ready to abandon the army, his world until now, to take care of me.

But what about tomorrow? What about the future? I’m dragging both of them to their doom.

Now that I’m resting and I can formulate actual thoughts—probably because they are both nearby, and I’m carrying traces of their scent from being pressed to them for so long on the saddle—I wonder what I should do.

I desire them both. They are my mates. I think I’m falling in love with them. They are so different and so annoying at times, but they are so kind and protective, so strong and handsome, and I…

I should leave. If I really care for them, I should send them away, like I tried to do with Finnen.

But then how will I live? How will I survive not being with them?

Isn’t that selfish, though? Because of me, they might be marching to their deaths, and how will I survive that?

Assuming I don’t join them.

They are my mates. I need them. I am probably going into heat and I really, really need them there with me. I need them to take me, to possess me, to rut with me.

And yet if I care for them at all, I should let them go.

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