Page 91 of Every Thought Taken

“I am not—”

“Yeah. You are.” His hand falls away and takes my other as he steps impossibly closer. “And it’s okay to admit it. I’d rage if another man so much as touched you.”

Well, damn.

He leans in, rests his cheek on mine, and breathes me in. My eyes fall shut, my pulse wild and loud in my ears.

“I’ll text the dates after I stop at the store.” He kisses the angle of my jaw near my ear. “Love you, North.”

I tighten my hold on him. “Love you, Ander.”

And before I can make sense of my dizzying thoughts, he pulls away, turns around, and walks out the door.

A week alone with Anderson may be the best or worst idea I’ve agreed to. Either way, after this trip, all doubts and questions will be answered.

CHAPTER50

ANDERSON

Perishables aren’t something I typically have often on the road, but since I won’t be the only one in the van for a week, I purchased atypical items. Small comforts for Helena.

I stock the van’s chest fridge with chicken, block cheese, eggs, fruit, and vegetables. Then move to the cabinets I use as a pantry, loading them with bread, nonperishable produce, nuts, cashew butter, dried fruits, individual nondairy milk cartons, rice, beans, coffee, tea, and water. While shopping, I also made a point to buy s’mores supplies.

The van has four overhead compartments and five base cabinets, plus shelves beneath the platform bed for storage. Two of the overheads hold dishware—two each of plates, bowls, cups, mugs, and four-piece sets of cutlery—and cooking dishes—a frying pan, two small pots, a cutting mat, kettle, and cooking utensils. The other two overheads hold staples for outdoor life—matches, lantern, toilet paper, first aid kit, sunscreen, and repellent. Two of the five base cabinets are pantry space, one for sanitation supplies, one for linens, and the largest for clothes. Typically, the space beneath the bed houses a collapsible chair, books, notebooks, and excess staples.

With this trip, unlike my usual days on the road, most of the space beneath the bed is empty. The additional space allows more room for Helena’s clothing, necessities for her cat, and extra play or hiding space for Smoky.

“You are coming back. Right?” Ales asks, arms crossed over her chest as she watches my every move.

I peer over my shoulder and contemplate how much to tell her. Though I have yet to reveal every piece of my past to her, I won’t lie if she asks outright. Some things just need to be eased into with her.

“Yes.” I shove clothes into the cabinet then close the door. Stepping out of the van, I plant my hands on my hips and look to the side. “Kind of have to.”

Her forehead wrinkles. “Not that I’m not happy to hear those words.” The lines deepen. “But why?”

I lift a hand to the back of my neck and rub the suddenly tense muscles. “I’m not going alone.”

This gets her attention. Her brows shoot for her hairline. “Back for a couple months and already found a lady friend? Ooh la la, Baby…” She pauses. “Just A. Sorry.”

A sad smile tugs at the corners of my mouth as I step closer and pull her in for a hug. “No need to apologize. It’s been your nickname for me for twenty-three, almost twenty-four years. But I do appreciate you trying.”

Her arms band around my middle as she rests her head on my shoulder. There are few things I miss about home, but my sister and her enthusiastic hugs are definitely on the list. Nothing compares to a hug from Alessandra Everett.

“Don’t think you’ve evaded answering me, little brother.” Releasing her hold, she pulls back so we are eye to eye. “Who’s the road-trip buddy?” Firm hands land on my biceps. “And what about your birthday?”

Helena’s birthday is in a few days, and mine in two weeks. Though we will be back days before mine, I hope Ales doesn’t wring my neck for stealing Helena away during hers.

“I’ll be back before my birthday.”Tap, tap, tap.My fingers drum over my thigh. “But…”

Twin blue irises level me with a hard stare. “But what, Anderson?”

I bite the inside of my cheek until the faint taste of salty iron hits my tongue. “But Helena won’t be home for hers.”

Time stands still for a moment as what I just said registers in Ales’s mind. The moment understanding hits, her eyes widen. A smallohon her lips. Her grip on my biceps loosens as she nods and nods and nods. It’s no secret Helena and I were close years ago, but in this moment, my sister is figuring out exactly how close.

I have zero expectations for this trip except for getting to know who Helena is now. Would I like to hold her in my arms? Would I love to kiss her? Without a doubt, yes. Do I anticipate either happening over the next week? Not at all. Sleeping in the same bed is the closest we will be physically and I am good with that.

Dropping her hands to mine, Ales looks at me,really looks, for the first time since I’ve returned. A rare softness takes over her expression. “You have a good heart, A. So long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters.”

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