Page 25 of Every Thought Taken

Just before sleep takes me, I whisper into his chest. “My wish… is for someone like you.”

CHAPTER13

ANDERSON

Ten And A Half Years Ago

“You should’ve seen her face,” Helena says from across the table. “Brave and outgoing should be her middle names.” She chuckles with a shake of her head. “But leave it to the varsity quarterback to make Lessa falter.”

The corners of my mouth tip up. My sister shocked into silence… not something I imagined possible. “Did he ask her out?” I lean forward and sip my soda. My eyes drop to the table momentarily as Helena shreds her napkin and rolls the bits into balls.

I meet her gaze as she shakes her head. “No, surprisingly.” The hint of jealousy in her voice is a hot blade on my skin. “Just said he’d see her after summer.”

“Why does that bother you?” I blurt out before I lose the nerve.

Helena’s head jerks back an inch, her brows tugging at the middle. Her light-green irises turn a hint darker as they roam my face. Then her expression softens, the harsh lines smoothing out as she takes a steadying breath and sits straighter.

“It doesn’t bother me,” she says, her words lacking conviction.

I swipe up a few fries from the plate between us and dip them in mayonnaise. “You feel some sort of way about it.” I point the fries in her direction. “When you know someone as long as we’ve known each other, you pick up on these things.” Shoving the fries in my mouth, I sit back and lean into the booth.

Summer break kicked off two weeks ago. Hours without adult supervision. Hikes on the local trails. The occasional fries or onion rings and soda float at the Lake Lavender Diner. Time away from the school imbeciles and their incessant bullshit.

Summer is a breath of fresh air. So is spending most of my days with Helena. Though it isn’t always just me and her, I relish the time when it is only us. Over the past few months, we have grown closer. Our conversations are more frequent, deeper. Sure, we talk about lighter stuff too, but nothing surface level or generic. When she hangs at the house, she wants me in the room with her—unless Ales or Mags requests otherwise.

This summer, life is more sunshine than shadow. And it is all because of the girl across the table. The girl that makes me smile more. The girl I look forward to seeing every day.

Helena Williams. North.My North.

“Fine,” she huffs out with a roll of her eyes. “It bothers me a little.” She lifts her hand and brings her thumb and forefinger close together for emphasis. “But not how you think.”

My brows shoot up. “And how do you think I mean it?”

Her lips flatten into a line as she stares at me with areally?look. “Playing dumb doesn’t become you, Ander.”

The corner of my mouth twitches. “Touché.”

“I’m not jealous ofhimliking or flirting with her if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Okay,” I draw out.

She snatches a fry from the plate and stabs the end into the BBQ sauce cup before shoving it in her mouth. I remain tight lipped and give her time to mull over what to say. How to express what it is she feels about the whole Ales-attracting-popular-boys situation.

When she finishes the fry, she takes a long pull from her soda. As her cup hits the table, an audible sigh fills the space between us.

“It’s more envy than jealousy. Not that they’re much different.” Her hands fall to her lap and I know what I’d see if I looked underneath—her hands tangled together, knuckles bleaching as she wrings her fingers. “Next to Lessa,” she whispers. “I feel small. Unseen. Like a nobody.” She hangs her head and shakes it once, twice, before sitting up straight. “I love her. Mags too. But sometimes, I wish I was as noticeable. That I didn’t disappear with her in the room.”

“Hey,” I say, a bite in my tone as I lay a hand on the table. I wait until she holds my steady gaze. “You don’t disappear.”

She opens her mouth, ready to disagree. I see it in the lines of her face. The slight twitch of her eyes. The faint blush on her cheeks.

I slap the table, garnering the attention of a few patrons. I ignore them and focus on Helena. “You. Don’t. Disappear.”

“How?”

I lick my lips and swallow. “Because I always see you.”

After the heavy conversation in the diner, Helena suggests we do something fun. Something that requires less thought. I agree with her. My mind veers toward hours in front of the television with too much sugar, salt, and caffeine. Maybe a comedy to lighten the mood.

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