Page 118 of Every Thought Taken

Inuzzle in the crook of Helena’s neck and hum. She tucks a leg between mine, her fingers dancing over my skin as she snuggles closer. I pepper kisses up her neck and along her jaw until my lips meet hers.

“Good morning,” I mumble against her lips, my fingers in her hair.

“Morning,” she says, the word raspy on her tongue. “Sleep good?”

“Better than good.” I drop another kiss to her lips. “You?”

“The best.”

Splashes of pink and peach seep through the van windows as the sun crests the mountainside. Leaves rustle in the early morning breeze. Earth and pine and Helena’s floral amber scent float in the air. Soft purrs vibrate my pillow, growing louder the longer we lie awake.

Everything about the morning is perfect. And the day will only get better. In a few hours, today officially moves to the top of my favorites list, all of which include Helena.

“Don’t want to get up,” I grumble, flopping onto my back. “But know we should.”

Helena inches closer and drapes herself over me, keeping me right where I want to be. “Five more minutes.”

“Five more minutes,” I repeat, wrapping her in my arms.

As if she is our personal alarm clock, Smoky stretches and mewls minutes later. She pads across the pillow, hovers inches from our faces, meows again, then rubs her nose over ours. Her morning kisses are my second favorite.

Groaning, I release my hold on Helena and give Smoky her morning scratches. “I bet you want breakfast, lil’ Smoky.” She bumps my temple with her forehead and cries louder. Pulling back the covers, I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and sit up. “Mom and I need breakfast, too.”

Helena sits up, the sheet pooling around her waist. In only a thin cotton camisole and panties, I resist the urge to stare. If it were any other day, I’d feed Smoky, slip back into bed, and get lost in her.

But that will have to wait. Today, we have other plans.

While I scoop kibble for Smoky, Helena fills the kettle with water, lights a burner, then leaves it to heat. She disappears outside to visit the new camping privy I insisted we get. I laugh, thinking back on our argument in the middle of the outdoor supply store.

“I do not need a literal toilet in the woods.”

My eyes scan the faces nearby. A man rolls his eyes. A woman covers her mouth in an attempt to hide her laughter. Others stand by idly, pretending to pay us no attention while they wait to see what happens next.

“I know you don’tneedit. Camping is in your DNA. But think about winter. I mean, if I’m being honest, I’d like a toilet with an outhouse-style tent when the wind chill is below thirty.”

At this, she laughs. Hallelujah.

“We don’t have space for it in the van,” she argues, and I know she is doing it because conceding now would be too soon.

“It won’t be used in the van, North.” I spin the box around on the shelf and point to the images. “But how nice would it be to not worry about bugs or plants tickling your butt while you pee?”

She playfully smacks my chest. “Ander,” she grumbles under her breath. “People are listening to us.”

I shrug, having too much fun with this. “And everyone poops, North.”

The laughing woman snorts, and Helena’s cheeks pink.

“Look, you don’t have to use it. But I plan on it.” I rest my hands on her shoulders and look her in the eye. “I’m not saying you can’t go in the woods. What I am suggesting is that you don’t have to.” Without another word, I pick up the box and put it in the oversized cart.

“Fine,” she huffs out. “Get the stupid porta-potty. But it’s all you.”

Our first trip after buying the outdoor bathroom setup, Helena intentionally avoided it. On the second trip, she changed her tune. Waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom is bad enough. Doing so in the middle of the forest is totally different. That was her turning point.

Now, she is team portable outhouse.

Stepping out after her, I return a moment later to her scrambling eggs. While she cooks, I make drinks and cut fruit. Soon, we sit down to breakfast and slowly start our day.

The past year has been a whirlwind. Helena and I coming back together and falling madly in love. Moving in together. Getting engaged and deciding to take this trip to elope. And then finally closing the chapter on my parents—one of the toughest decisions I’ve made, but one I don’t regret.

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