Page 107 of Every Thought Taken

Another first.One I won’t disclose unless she asks.

Aside from Helena, I’ve only been with one other person.

Two years on the road, I’d had a rough night and just needed a connection. Something to make me a little less lonely. The sex had been meaningless. A random traveler. I didn’t ask her name or give mine. We’d met at a campground, several other vans parking there for the night. After a few too many drinks, I propositioned her. It was quick and empty. Disgust washed over me the moment I touched her. And the entire time, I refused to look at her face.

When she’d stepped into her van for the night, I jogged away from camp and vomited in the bushes.

Touching another woman felt inappropriate. Wrong in every way. Even when we were no longer beholden to each other, being with someone else made me ill.

Since that night, I have never sought attention or affection from another. And I never will. Helena is who I want. Who I will always want.

I drag the tip of my nose through her curls and inhale her musky scent. My mouth waters and cock hardens to borderline painful. Eager to taste her, my tongue darts out between my lips and licks up her center. Her salty tang dances over my taste buds and unlocks something primal in my bones. A feral growl vibrates my chest as I hook her thighs over my shoulders, bury my face deeper between her legs, and devour her with newfound hunger. I palm her breasts. Tweak her nipples. Drive her wild with my tongue and hands.

Soft moans spill from her lips as her fingers curl in my hair. She grinds her pussy against my mouth, the occasional “oh god” and “yes” slipping from her lips. One of my hands kneads its way down the curves of her torso, massages her fleshy hip, strokes the inside of her thigh. I flick her clit with my tongue once, twice, then dip a finger inside her.

So warm. So fucking tight.

My cock twitches as I pump my finger inside of her. I add another finger and her cries intensify. Grow louder, faster. The grind of her hips turns aggressive. Her body tightening around my fingers as I hit a spot deep inside her.

And then her hand in my hair yanks the strands. Hard. A tremor ripples through her body as her orgasm drips down my fingers to my hand. As she comes down from the high, I withdraw my fingers, bring them to my mouth, and suck the taste of her off.

My eyes roll back. “Need to be inside you,” I say on a growl.

“Yes.” The three-letter word breathy on her lips.

I crawl up her body. Kiss her hard. Let her taste herself on my tongue. “Condom,” I mutter, realizing I don’t have any.

“Bedside drawer.”

I inch back and stare down at her as my brows knit together.

Her hand comes to my cheek. “Bought them today.” She lifts off the bed and kisses my lips. “The box is still sealed.”

I have no right to be upset over Helena finding comfort in someone else while I was gone. She didn’t know where I was. Didn’t know if I would return. Intentionally, I’d left her in the dark. And with that sequence of actions, she was entitled to move on.

But knowing she needed to buy condoms is a relief and sexy as hell.

Yanking the drawer open, I locate the box, tear at the cellophane, all but rip the box in two, then tear a condom free from the strip. We chuckle as I fumble with the wrapper but grow serious as I roll the latex down my shaft. As I settle between her legs. As I lace our fingers together and slide them up the bed, under the pillows.

“I love you, North.” I drop my lips to hers. Kiss her with every ounce of love in my veins.

Her legs wrap around my hips and lock at the ankles. “Love you, Ander.”

I line up the head of my cock with her entrance and gently rock my hips forward. Our gasps mingle in the air as I fill her, but not to the hilt. I pull out to the base of my crown, then ease in again, deeper this time. Her grip on my hands tightens.

Every muscle in my body locks. “Did I hurt you?”

She shakes her head but doesn’t utter a word.

I drop a tender kiss to her lips. “Talk to me. We can stop.”

Her head shakes faster. “No.” She licks her lips. “It’s just…”

I wait for her to continue. Wait for her to tell me what initiated her death grip on my hands. When a minute passes, I release one of her hands and cup her cheek. “What?” I press my lips to her forehead. “You can tell me.”

She lays her hand over mine on her cheek. Turns her face into my palm and kisses the heart. “It’s been a long time.” Emotion clogs her voice.

Desperate to see her face, I pull out, reach for the bedside table, and turn on the light. Soft light filters through the room, both of us squinting. Once my eyes adjust, they lock on hers. Tears well up in her eyes as I try to puzzle out what has her so upset.

---