Page 10 of Every Thought Taken

Helena unwraps her gifts first. Pretty tops. A new purse. Sneakers and dress shoes she has had her eye on. Hair accessories and a bottle of perfume. A denim jacket. Books with people hugging on the cover. And last, a gift Mom bought from all of us, a Polaroid camera with film.

“Thank you, everyone.” Her eyes scan the party. “These are all wonderful.”

An uproar of “you’re welcome” and “so glad you love it” flood my ears. I close my eyes and take a moment to breathe. To prepare myself for all the eyes that will be on me as I open the less-exciting gifts.

“Alright.” Mrs. Williams claps. “You’re up, Anderson.”

At least she sounds excited. I wish my mother cheered me on the way Mrs. Williams does.

Grabbing the first box, I read the tag.From Mom and Dad.I tear into the brown paper and open the box. Jeans and T-shirts and flannels. And socks.

A few snickers echo across the table and I internally groan.This will be the next reason I get picked on at school. Great.

“Thanks, Mom.” I meet her waiting eyes and smile. It feels forced, but I try to soften it so it looks the opposite. “Thanks, Dad.”

“You’re welcome, son,” Dad says. “We’ll exchange whatever doesn’t fit.”

I nod and move to the next gift, reading it is from Magdalena and the Bishop family. Making quick work of the black-and-gold-foil birthday paper, I open the box and see a new pair of hiking boots. The good kind. Taped to the top of the box is also a gift card for the sporting goods store for fifty dollars.

Holy crap.

Tears blur my vision, but I shove them away as I look to the Bishops. “Thank you. So much. I love them.”

As much time as we spend outdoors, especially in the summer, these boots will be handy for at least two years. Having new boots also gives me another reason to go out on weekends. Less time at home, less time listening to Mom and how unhappy she is with everything I do.

I pick up the next present, this one from Mr. and Mrs. Williams. The box is small and wrapped in shiny, dark-blue paper with a clear and colorful bow. I tug at the flaps, rip apart the paper, and gasp. The threat of tears hits harder.

This is expensive. Really expensive.

With my head down, I blink back the tears and will myself to look up. When my eyes meet their happy stares, the backs of my eyes burn and my stomach flips.

They bought me an iPod Nano. The new one that came out days ago.

“I… I don’t know what to say,” I declare, fumbling over my words.

“How about you thank them, Anderson,” Mom bites out.

Her sharp words stab at the joy bubbling in my chest. “Yes. I’m sorry. Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Williams. I… this is… wow.”

Mr. Williams steps around the table and comes to my side. He lays his hand on my shoulder and gives it a squeeze. “You get to put your own music on there and listen to the radio. It has some other cool features we can look at later.” He squats down next to my chair and leans closer. “There’s also a small gift card to get your collection started,” he says only loud enough for me to hear.

I should say more than thank you to them. This is so much. Too much. More than I deserve.

Mr. Williams straightens his legs but stays close to my ear. “We love you, bud. And whatever you’re thinking, stop. We wanted to get you this.”

“O-okay.”

He goes back to stand with Mrs. Williams and they both smile.

The next gift is from Ales. I side-eye her as I peel away the brown paper with doodles all over it. Inside the box is a leather sleeve with a gold metal flashlight. I slide the flashlight from the holder and turn it over in my hand. Along the battery housing, it is engraved withSo you’re never in the dark.

My eyes shoot to Ales’s and I question what she knows. Did Helena spill my secrets? Does my sister know I have dark thoughts? Does she know I spend more time in the dark than in the light?

“It’s perfect,” I say. “Thank you.”

She gets up from her chair, comes to my side, and hugs me tight. “You’re welcome, Baby A,” she whispers in my ear. “Don’t know why you’re sad, but I’ll always be here. For whatever.” She gives me one last squeeze then lets go. “Always,” she repeats.

I nod. “Love you.”

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