Page 15 of All or Something

Still, she frowns. Scott changes the subject to the upcoming season. It will be interesting to see what it will be like, coming and going from home with Galina nearby. I’m not sure if she’ll want to live together or if she’ll want to get her own space. Our biggest obstacle, still, I believe is our parents.

Galina seems to like me well enough that we likely could have a good thing going if they would simply butt out. Her demeanor has already changed since she’s been here. Not a lot, but some. She has stopped talking to either of our parents, though, and I think that’s helped with her stress levels.

It actually pisses me off. I also feel like an idiot for not knowing any of this was happening. We could have resolved our issues much sooner if I’d know Galina was being harassed by our parents. Part of me blames her for not reaching out, but I also blame myself for not asking.

The season is fast approaching and I’m really hoping this is somewhat settled by then. It’ll be really interesting to see what it’ll be like to have a companion around when playing. I haven’t ever really had that before. It’ll be nice. At least if this doesn’t work and we do divorce, I can finally move on and find someone. Or maybe I’ll sow my wild oats, though it’s a bit late in my life to be doing so.

Galina paces about the apartment when I return.

“I don’t think this will ever work,” she says the moment she sees me. “We’re always going to have our parents to deal with; they will always be hovering in the background and looming over us. I’ll always be under their thumb. If I succumb to this, what else will they pressure me to do?”

I grab her hands from her hips and give them a little squeeze. If I had to guess, she got a call from one of our parents and decided to answer. “Galina,” I begin softly. “Remember, I’ll take care of that; you don’t have to.”

“But will it be enough? They already know they can force me to marry.”

My brows furrow at her comment; she’s said it before, but I don’t understand it. “Galina, we agreed back then and we’ve agreed to try now.”

Her brows match mine and her voice rises in anger. “Agreed? Why do you keep saying that? I didn’t agree to anything! No one asked me what I wanted, Sergey. How exactly did I agree if I was told what I was going to do?”

I frown. “I don’t understand.”

“That’s makes two of us,” she cuts in.

“Your parents didn’t ask if you’d be willing to marry me and agree to the match?”

“No!” she shrieks incredulously. Her eyes widen, turning wild and livid. “Youwereasked? Youconsented? Why? Why would you do that? I can’t believe they wanted your approval, but not mine.” She yanks her hands out of mine and paces again, throwing her hands around while she rants. “But ofcoursethey would want Mr. Perfect, Mr. Success to agree. Who gives a flying fuck whatIwant.” She whirls to face me. “I can’t believe you agreed.” The anger leaves her tone and she’s just defeated.

“I thought you did,” I reply quietly with a shrug of my shoulders. “We were friends, Galina, and I liked you. I figured it couldn’t hurt to say yes and see what happens.”

She shakes her head in disbelief as if she’s trying to shake off the news. “I need some space.” She runs out of the apartment.

I think about calling after her, wishing to comfort her, but the disappointment in her gaze haunts me. Guilt bubbles up inside me as I collapse onto my couch. Should I even feel guilty? Sure, I’m part of why she’s in this mess, but I didn’t know we weren’t treated equally. I genuinely thought we both entered this, knowing it was what our parents wanted, but we were still okay with moving forward.

Maybe I should give her the divorce. She is likely better off with a fresh start than the mess we’re currently in. I still like her, though. In all likelihood, if not for our parents, we would’ve never been together anyway, despite being friends. I would’ve left town and who knows what Galina would have done. We probably wouldn’t have kept in touch. We would have gone our separate ways and never looked back. Maybe that’s what we need to do now.

Thinking of potentially telling our parents this makes my stomach hurt. I can only imagine what it’s been like for Galina if I feel like this after only a short time of dealing with them. Maybe we’ll both cut them out of our lives.

Right now, though, my primary focus is Galina. She wants space, she can have it all. I’ll be fine if she walks away, though I truly don’t want her to. Galina hasn’t had a fair shake once. Maybe I need to stop being selfish, hoping something comes of a relationship with her, and let her go. For once in her life, someone needs to think of her. Perhaps a divorce would be best.

Eight

Galina

I shouldn’t be surprised.I shouldn’t be upset. This is just run of the mill for me.

But I am surprised and I am upset. With my parents, with his parents, and even with Sergey. He seemed genuine when he said he didn’t know, but still. Why agree at all? The pressure and turmoil I’ve had to endure is partly due to his decision. How can I not blame him?

I drive around for an hour, eventually having to use the GPS to direct me back home since I end up being utterly lost. While I don’t feel any better, it feels like it’s time.

Sergey sits up straight from his spot on the couch when I walk in. His mouth opens, but I hold my hand to stop him from speaking. Emotionally and mentally, I’m drained. It’s as if all the energy has been sucked from my body and there’s no way for me to recharge.

After freshening up in the bathroom and changing into pajamas, I crawl into bed and close my eyes. All I want is sleep. Good, long, deep sleep. A few moments later, I hear Sergey moving around and then the light turns off. The bed creaks as he crawls beneath the covers on the other side.

Why does my life have to be so difficult? Why is it so hard for me to have some control over my life? Is that really too much to ask for?

“I’m so sorry, Galina,” Sergey whispers, apparently unable to remain silent. He pulls me into his arms, kisses my shoulder, and repeats his apology. When he begins to pull away, I grab his arm.

What’s wrong with me? Even upset, I find comfort from Sergey. My emotions are all over the place. I’ll figure out what to do with them tomorrow. For now, I close my eyes and let the warmth and comfort of his body lull me to sleep.

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