Page 48 of Summer's Edge

The silence that follows is fraught with things best left unsaid. And sadness.

“There’s also our fathers,” Harper adds, chuckling.

It works to lighten the mood. Her father is Scar, the MC’s torturer and a very scary dude to anyone that’s not part of his family.

“I know, right?” I say. “All Edge could talk about in the beginning was how he doesn’t want to disrespect Ice by being with me. I mean, what the hell? Ice isn’t that bad, is he? Do our dads actually go around ordering the guys not to even look at us? I thought maybe it was more like just a guideline or something.”

The look on Harper’s face tells me I’m wrong even before she says, “Scar forbade Jax from seeing me. It’s why he left and got himself thrown in jail.”

Eden and I just stare at her with our mouths open. “For real? And what did you do?”

“I had a talk with him,” she says. “But I also got kidnapped and saved by Jax. That helped a lot.”

She’s smiling as she says it, but her eyes look scared.

“Great, so all I gotta do is get myself kidnapped and then all’s gonna be OK.”

Harper’s not smiling anymore. “I wouldn’t recommend that.”

Eden looks shocked as hell too. “Stop talking crazy, Summer.”

I smile at both of them. “Relax, I was kidding. Besides, we’re being watched 24/7 again. How would that even happen?”

As if to prove my point, a couple of bikers drive past the open door of the bookstore, going slow, the visors of their helmets pulled low over their faces.

“It is annoying,” Eden says. “But I feel better knowing they’re around. This war… it’s nothing to joke about.”

And here we are again. Talking about the war. The painful twist near my heart at the mention of it says all I want said about it.

“How do you do it, Harper?” I ask. “How do you stay calm while Jax is away fighting?”

Her eyes tell me that her heart is twisting as badly and painfully as mine. But she smiles a sad little smile anyway. “Honestly, I’m a wreck. But keeping busy helps. And hanging out with friends does too. Let’s finish up in here and get some dinner.”

She leaps to her feet and picks up an armful of books from the box at her feet and starts placing them on the shelves.

Eden and I share a look and then Eden places a hand on her shoulder. “We’ve got at least another day of unpacking to do. Let’s get that dinner now.”

“And no more talk of war, please,” I say, the pain near my heart reminding me I’m the one who brought it up.

“Yeah, no more,” Harper says. “But how about dinneranddrinks just to make sure we don’t end up wallowing in depression.”

I wish it was as easy as saying that to make the anguish go away. But I’m sure we’ll make do. What other choice do we have? These men we’ve chosen, they’ll never stop fighting and they’ll never stop living dangerous lives.

* * *

We were joined by Veronica,Ariel and Trixie for dinner and ended up making a night of it. Unfortunately, none of them had any better advice for coping with the waiting and worrying when the guys are away fighting. Or coping with their guys’ reluctance to form a bond that goes beyond the bedroom.

I told them about me and Edge. And we drank many shots toasting to our future. And all our futures. And everything in between.

I’m more than a little tipsy as I walk down the dark, quiet sidewalk back to my place. The rest took an Uber, but my apartment isn’t far from the bar we were at and I needed the fresh nighttime air to clear my head at least a little before I try lying down. My head’s spinning as I walk, and I imagine it’ll be a million times worse when I try to sleep. I’m not ruling out puking. I overdid it with the shots. I usually do. But what’s interesting is that my sister was right there with me. Trixie who only drank soda is making sure she gets home all right.

I guess I’ll have to ask my mom how she copes with dad being in so many near brushes with death all the time. Though I’m starting to suspect this was one of the main reasons she’d rather Eden and I find partners outside the MC. And outside the biker world if at all possible.

The town is deserted this time of night and in LA I’d be scared to walk alone at night, but my hometown is a sleepy one. And I’m sure there are at least two MC guys assigned to watching me at all times. They are really good at staying out of sight. They always were back when I was still in high school and had round-the-clock protection just like all the rest of us kids.

The night wind is chilly, since summer is starting to turn into autumn, my favorite time of year.

I spend some time fantasizing about all the wonderful fall rides Edge and I will be taking this year, along roads bordered by gold and copper-colored trees, the mists of morning not quite dissipating until the afternoon, making everything look magical and fairytale-like.

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