Page 16 of Summer's Edge

And he doesn’t follow me into the cabin either.

SIX

Edge

I meant every word I told her. But it sure is cold out here without her now. Made even colder by her invitation to join her in bed. I poke at the embers, trying to rouse a flame, but nothing happens. They’re too dead, too cold, too extinguished. Just like me.

She’s wrong. There’s nothing to resurrect in me. And letting her try would be the worst thing I’ve ever done. And I’ve done bad things. Many very bad things. Things that give me nightmares where I’m the villain and not someone else.

If I let her into that darkness she’ll never come back out. There’s nothing here for her. Nothing for me either if I let her in. Except the knowledge that I’ve fucked up yet another life. Ruined yet another life.

All those points are perfectly valid. And they keep multiplying in my brain, each more true than the last.

But I got up and walked into the cabin anyway.

I can tell myself it’s because of the cold all night long, but the truth is, I’ve been a lot colder. I could also lie and tell myself it’s to keep her safe. Or that I don’t want to offend her by ignoring her invitation.

And I do tell myself all those lies as I lie down next to her and cover myself with half the thick, scratchy blanket that she’d left on my side of the bed. I tell myself that her being asleep and not noticing I’ve come in is a good thing too.

But the damn truth is, it’s been a very long time since I’ve faced my demons the way I had tonight. A very long time since I’ve told anyone the whole of my hellish story. And her brave offer to show me a different way, a way out of the hell I’ve been living, is a first.

Sincere or not, no one’s ever offered me that.

So how was I supposed to know how much it’d mean to me?

But it fucking does. And I don’t know what to do with that.

Except lie here next to her, perfectly still so as not to wake her. So as not to hear her take the promise back. No idea why it’s like that. I’m not a sentimental idiot. I’m not looking for anything. I know she can’t do what she promised me.

Somewhere between nearly losing my mind in prison and finding her and all her sweet promises for the taking, I must’ve gone insane for real.

But I’m sure I just have to sleep it off.

The brothers will be back soon and then we’ll go home, and everything will be the way it was. Normal. I just have to hold on until then.

SEVEN

Summer

Last night was one strange night, that’s for sure. Maybe it was the darkness, or nearly getting kidnapped the night before, or the sleeplessness or the fact that I was finally alone with Edge after all the years of pining over him, but I laid it all on the line and I don’t know if that was a good idea.

By the time he finally came into the cabin I’d already given up waiting for him. And I was done getting rejected, so I just waited for him to make his move. Or not. Turns out thatnot. We didn’t even wake up holding each other like I kinda half expected would happen.

In fact, I woke up in bed alone.

He wasn’t anywhere in the cabin either, or anywhere near it outside. For a second, I thought that maybe he split, that maybe all that heart-felt sharing last night and the kiss were too much for him and he just left. But he’d never do that. He promised my dad he’d watch over me, and that’s another promise to Ice that he’d never break.

Damn.

I get a coke from the cooler next to the burnt-out remnants of the fire, then sit on the porch stairs sipping it, wishing I had an extra tall latte instead. Or a way to take a long bath to wash the country and the rejection off me.

The coke’s warm and the black soot and charred wood that’s left in the fire pit quickly starts reminding me too vividly of the life I thought I was finally building for myself. That’s all in charred ruins now too.

Marcia was all shocked that I was almost kidnapped right under her nose, and happy that my family was there to save me. But she hasn’t been replying to my texts since. None of my other new friends are either.

Only my sister Eden is. And she keeps going on and on about how terrible it is that I was almost kidnapped. I can just picture her, wearing one of her summer dresses with some lovely floral print and a sensible neckline, surrounded by the books she loves so much. Those romance books she can’t stop reading that are nothing like real life.

For example, a rough, brooding type of biker in his prime would never say no to a young woman on the night he finally gets out of prison in one of those books. I could ask Eden to confirm that, but it would just send her into an even bigger spiral.

---