Page 65 of Ms. Lead

Her brows shoot up in surprise.

“Whoa. Did you just say your next book is going to be about men with MS? Are you really going to go public?”

I can feel heat rising in my cheeks since I’m the last person who likes to talk about themselves. In this instance, though, it might be helpful.

“Yeah. I think it’s time I did.” I square my shoulders a bit, trying to give myself the confidence that isn’t quite there yet. “I’ve met a great group of guys, thanks to your introduction to Oscar, who meet every other week and sometimes talk to each other about their MS. Sometimes they don’t, which makes it so great. They’ve really become friends.”

Darcie grins, but her eyes tear up slightly. Great. I did not want to face waterworks today.

She reaches over and squeezes my arm. “That’s amazing. So, what exactly is your book going to be about?”

“Everyone’s stories. I’ve asked, and most have agreed to document their experiences from diagnosis to today. I think I’ll add some experts to weigh in on things too, so I’m not giving out any misinformation. I think it might be helpful to someone like me, who gets MS and then gives up on life. I want to show that life goes on. Or, well, it should.”

My eyes drop to my fidgeting hands on the table. Thoughts of how much I fucked things up with Bianca roll through me. I can’t even fathom that she would forgive me after how much I hurt her. But something in me still believes that maybe by February 21st, I’ll be mentally in a position where I can be the man she deserves. I need to believe it. I’m kind of hinging everything on it, which might not be the healthiest thing, either.

“Oli?” Darcie is leaning forward, trying to get my attention.

“Huh?” I laugh. “Sorry, my turn to space out.”

“Have you talked to the publisher yet? What’s going on there?”

“Yes, but I’ll still need you to do your agent thing. They said they’ll forward contracts to you in the next week or so.”

“How are you going to find time to write this other book? Your book tour for this current release starts in a couple of months?”

Her concern is appreciated but unwarranted.

“Don’t worry, Darcie. I’ll manage. I can take my time with the MS book. I don’t think there’s a deadline since we’re not doing an advance on this one.”

Darcie’s eyes widen in shock. “No advance? Why not? Do they not know who you are?” She’s chuckling, but I get the feeling she’s only half kidding.

“No advance. And the proceeds, minus your fees, of course, are going to charity.”

“Charity?” She puts the back of her hand on my forehead. “Are you sure you’re well? What charity?”

I swat her hand away lightly. “I’m not sure yet. There’s a social network for people with MS that I’m looking into called Shift.ms, and I might look into starting my own foundation to help support groups like the one Oscar started. Maybe both? I don’t know quite yet.” I shrug because I’m not sure. There are a lot of different charities in the world, and a lot are aimed at MS. Most are both worthy and need financial help.

Out of nowhere, Darcie grabs my hands with both of hers, her eyes shining with tears.

“Damn you, Oli.” She wipes her eyes with the back of her hands. “Take my fee too. Just don’t tell Pamela, okay?”

I chuckle. “My lips are sealed.”

The crowd behind us cheers as if on cue, and Darcie glances up and joins in the celebration. Apparently, the guys in the red kits are now doing well.

So am I, boys. So am I. I just hope it’s enough.

Chapter Thirty-Four

BIANCA

HEARTACHE MELODY

Three Months After the Grand Canyon

This has been the longest three months of my life. It doesn’t help that I look at the calendar every day and count the days since I last saw Oliver, and the days still to go to February 21st. To be honest, I thought if he really did love me, he wouldn’t be able to wait until February. Obviously, I was wrong. Either he doesn’t really love me, or he’s got a hell of a lot of willpower. Or, he’s just damned stubborn. It could be any one of those.

We’re halfway through our self-imposed cooling-off period. Why haven’t I broken down and reached out to him? I have to tell myself these reasons daily so I don’t forget.

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