Page 51 of Ms. Lead

I follow her gaze, landing on the box of condoms, and return the smile.

“I mean, I won’t argue.” I grind my pelvis against her, my rock-hard erection leaving no doubt about just how ready I am for this to happen.

To my complete surprise, I’m suddenly tangled in a flurry of arms and legs and flipped onto my back, Bianca straddling me, her hair falling to curtain around us as she leans over me, laughing and more than a little proud of her move.

I’m impressed and a little confused at how she actually did it, but I don’t overthink it. I like it. I like how in command she is of herself and, I guess, me.

I take the opportunity to grab her breasts in both hands, reveling in their fullness and rolling the nipples tightly between my fingers. This gets her moving again, and the box is quickly opened, and a fresh condom extracted. She expertly sheathes me in no time, neither of us mentioning or referencing the boat incident, thank God. Though I get the sense that we both thought about it simultaneously.

I wrap my hand behind her neck and pull her down into a kiss, chasing away any bad thoughts we might be having. Expressing to her, in the only way I can, the only way I know how, that we’re okay. She’s safe with me.

Her eyes are clear and unworried when she pulls away, and I love that we can communicate like that. I love everything about us, about her.

She leans forward again and rocks to guide me inside her slowly. The sensation of her so wet and tight around me is exquisite, and I can’t help but draw in a sharp breath through my teeth. A hiss then escapes me as she settles more, taking me all the way in.

I open my eyes and watch her reaction, her head falling back, hair cascading down her back, and her long neck exposed as she swallows hard, her breath catching with mine.

She’s simply beauty personified. Everything about her, even her flaws and her hot temper, not just her looks, is brilliant to me.

She meets my gaze and starts rotating her hips, stirring an intoxicating rush of sparks through my veins. The warmth of her splayed around me builds an aching within me that I’ve never felt before. A craving echoes through me that needs to be satiated and can only be satisfied by her.

Only ever her.

Sitting up to meet her, I pull a breast into my mouth to suck on a rigid nipple, then my hands slide under her to control our movements. I can tell she’s close again, and I want to draw it out for her, build up to a euphoria that we will both remember.

She wants to go faster, to chase that quick high, but I slow us down and revel in teasing her. Pushing her to the edge, then pulling back until we’re both feverish, and she’s begging me to come.

Grabbing her hair, I pull her head back gently, tilting her face to mine, and kiss her slow and deep, rolling my hips and hitting where we both need it again and again. Her nails carve down my back as our pleasure builds exponentially together until we erupt, clinging to each other desperately, pulsating and shuddering in and around each other. Her teeth dig into my shoulder, stifling a cry, and I let out a breathless groan from somewhere deep in my soul.

It takes a minute for us each to catch our breath, and even then, it’s unsteady. Our bodies stick together with sweat, and I brush Bianca’s damp hair away from her face, trying to gauge her reaction to what just happened between us. I think it was as significant for her as it was for me.

Sex has never been like that for me. It’s never been so intimate, so personal, so meaningful. But what did it mean, exactly?

I shake it off as quickly as the thoughts come. I can’t be having these thoughts. Not now. Not ever.

Fuck. I hate this. But God damn this all to hell. I love her.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

BIANCA

JUST SAY WHEN

After a night that I never thought I would experience in my life, full of so much emotion never expressed in words, the next day seems rushed before it even starts. I barely have a minute to register anything. Time is going by way too quickly, and we barely slept because we don’t want to miss a minute we have left together. At least, that’s how I feel. I think Oliver feels the same way.

He did finally doze off, and I snuck out to grab a cup of coffee and watch the sunrise on the back deck of the house. I’m kept company by a small elk herd about fifty yards away. I’m used to the varied wildlife out here, and if I don’t bother them, they won’t bother me.

Hopefully.

I almost said it last night, that I love him, but it caught on something inside me before I could form the words. Fear. It snagged on my fear of rejection, of hurt, of abandonment. Oddly, in my head, if I don’t create an attachment, it can’t be ruined. If I don’t trust, I can’t be betrayed. If I don’t expect anything, I won’t be disappointed.

Since Colin hurt me, this is how I’ve operated with everyone. If I’m honest with myself, the difference now is that I actually feel more for Oliver in one month than I did for Colin with years together. So, maybe that’s why I’m even more afraid. I know that this hurt is going to be devastating when it comes. And I know that it’s coming. There’s nothing I can do to stop it.

Today, we go to the Grand Canyon. I’ve probably been a hundred times after driving clients to various points along the park containing it, but this is different somehow. There’s something about seeing it for the first time that changes a person's perspective, and I’m curious how it will affect Oliver, if at all.

Maybe he’s too stoic and closed off for it to do anything to him. But maybe, just maybe, it will change his mindset about life, his life, and how precious it truly is.

I’m so lost in thought I don’t hear when he comes outside to join me. When his arms slide around me, and he starts kissing my neck, I just about jump out of my skin. Luckily, I don’t spill my coffee or spook the elk, and only yelp to myself on the inside.

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