Page 44 of Ms. Lead

I need to feel him inside of me. Now.

Sliding my hands between us, I undo his jeans, frantic to reach him, to return this absolute bliss. I don’t make it as Oliver slips a finger into me, curving it as he goes and hitting everything right on the way. Then a second finger repeats the movement and sends me into oblivion.

I can’t help but cry out in pleasure, and he takes his other hand to cover my mouth, not wanting to draw attention, but it only drives me deeper into sensation. The idea that what we’re doing is secret or clandestine makes it much more exciting.

As I come down, I finally reach him inside his boxers, and he is so hard for me that another wave of that familiar pressure starts to build inside me.

“Please tell me you brought a condom,” I say, panting. I’m already so close again. I’m not sure how much more I can take.

He doesn’t say anything but pulls out his wallet, and I see a flash of foil right before my shorts are yanked down, and he settles himself between my thighs, pushing into me.

He is so thick and deep. I don’t think he can get any deeper. But he starts moving his hips, dragging in and out of me slowly, and I feel myself easing and making more room for him, which he takes completely. He’s perched on his elbows, caging me securely beneath him, watching me react to his every move.

Again, our eyes meet, and the second they do, that strange tether between us electrifies, and I start to spasm intensely around him. My pelvis thrusts upward to meet his, taking him as deep inside me as possible, amplifying the pulsations rushing through me.

“Is this how you wanted me to fuck you, Bianca?” he growls into my ear and then bites my neck, careful not to hurt me. He thrusts again, harder, even deeper. “Is this how you want it?”

Somehow, my orgasm extends, or maybe it’s a new one. I have no idea at this point. All I know is that I am in heaven right now. Sex has never been this intense or this good in my life. My body has never responded to someone like this.

“Yes. Yes.” I can’t think of words bigger than that as I dig my nails into his back, sure that I’m leaving marks, but not caring either.

This feels too good.

His breath quickens, his muscles tense, and he bites my shoulder as he comes, groaning low as his hips jerk and thrust hard into me. I again move to meet him, taking all of him deeply. I can feel him flex inside me as his body relaxes, pressing onto me as he traces kisses up my neck and along my jaw.

I also feel something else, something warm.

I freeze.

“Oliver.” He’s got to feel it, too, doesn’t he? Am I imagining it?

“Hmm?” He’s back at my ear, nibbling on my earlobe, but I can’t move.

“Oliver, I think something’s wrong.”

He stops what he’s doing and props himself up to look at me. His brow furrowed with concern.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

Good god. How do I say this?

“Um. I think the condom broke.” I try not to sound panicked, but I know I’m failing that miserably. “I can feel…well, your…you know…inside me.”

He pulls out of me so fast I barely register what is happening. Then he’s standing and swearing up a blue streak while readjusting his clothes, leaving me prone on the cushions, stunned.

“Oh, my Lord, Bianca, I am so sorry. Here.” He finally notices me and moves to help me redress and sit up. “I can’t believe that just happened, and then I just left you like that. I am so, so sorry.” He’s rambling, obviously upset.

My brain is trying to jump three steps ahead of me to figure out what to do now because I have to do something. Oliver has been more than clear that he doesn’t want children, and I am not ready to be a single mother. I’m on the pill, but that might not be enough.

Tears are pricking the back of my throat, imagining Oliver’s horror at my being pregnant. It is probably the worst thing that could happen to him.

“Are you clean?” I ask, my mind racing through every possible outcome of every likely nightmare scenario. As if getting pregnant wasn’t devastating enough.

“I beg your pardon?” He looks at me as though I’ve grown a second head.

“Are you clean? I mean, do you have any—”

“Oh, no. I mean, yes. I’m clean. Sorry, I’m not thinking straight at the moment.”

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