Page 39 of Ms. Lead

“It was never a matter of want, Bianca.”

He turns his head to me, opening his eyes slowly. They are the saddest eyes I’ve ever seen. And it’s not just sadness. It’s regret.

I feel it, then. The weird tether between us that seems to stretch and pull at different times starts to hum, vibrating deep inside me. The regret in his gaze must be for the time we’ve wasted figuring this out.

Leaning over, I place my wine glass on the coffee table, then slide my leg over him, straddling him beneath me. It’s not a sexual move, but I'm just putting myself front and center as close as possible.

I take both hands and capture his face under my fingers, feeling his warm skin against mine, savoring it. His steel gray eyes meet mine, and there’s an unasked question lingering there.

“I’m in,” I say, as sure as anyone can be in anything. “I’m in if you’ll have me. You don’t scare me, Oliver Bellamy.” I brush my lips gently against his, sealing my vow.

I’ve given it a lot of thought during the week as I researched everything. I debated whether I wanted to get involved with someone with MS, and the answer is yes, I do. If that someone is Oliver, I absolutely do. Whatever hardship may come to us, I firmly believe that if we face it together, we can overcome any obstacles thrown at us. We have that kind of power together.

The corner of his mouth twitches up again, his smile crooked and perfect.

“But I tried so hard.”

“Yeah, well, you’ll have to try a lot…harder.”

And that’s precisely when it turns sexual, as I grind myself against him, feeling his body respond underneath me. There are many more questions to be answered between us, but for now, we need to let our story play out however it will.

Memories of us together on the couch in my apartment flash in my head as we kiss. His hands were fire on me and inside me. It was beyond incredible, and I want to return that favor. I want to make him feel as sexy and wanted as he made me feel that night.

I scoot back on his lap and undo the button and zipper of his jeans. Then I slowly slide off, kneeling on the floor in front of him and taking his jeans and boxers with me as I go. I finally see the thick erection I’ve caused, and it’s glorious. I glance up at him to make sure he’s okay with what I’m doing, and his eyes are trained on me, lids heavy and full of desire.

As I take him in my hand, the skin silky beneath my fingers, I caress the tip of his shaft, teasing what’s to come. His eyes close, and a rough groan escapes him, his back arching as I stroke him gently. The sound of his pleasure at this slight touch reverberates through me, down to my core.

I’m anxious to taste him, and as I take him in my mouth, his hands are instantly in my hair, not restraining or guiding, just feeling. The saltiness of his skin compliments the lingering taste of wine still on my tongue as I lick and swirl around him. I take him in as deep as I can, gliding into a long suck while my tongue flicks his most sensitive areas, and he grabs at my hair in fists.

“Fuuuuck, Bianca,” he growls. I glance up, and he’s watching me intently. I meet his eyes, never stopping my stroking and sucking while savoring the taste of him. He’s having difficulty restraining himself, and I feel a low tremor start to roll through him, so I know he’s close. “You’re amazing,” he pulls gently on my hair, lifting me off him. “But I want to be inside you.”

“I can arrange that,” I purr, keeping my hand on him, stroking deliberately.

“My bag. There are condoms in my bag.” His voice is ragged, and his breath hitches as he speaks.

The smile that takes me over at the thought of him preparing for this weekend like this turns into a giggle as I grab his overnight bag and put it on the couch next to him. I slide my underwear off underneath my sundress and go back stroking him while he finds the condoms and pulls one out. To his surprise, I take it from him and roll it on his steel length smoothly.

His head falls back again as I climb into his lap and carefully lower myself onto him, taking a second to enjoy the fullness of him inside of me. His hands reach around and under my dress, grabbing my ass and squeezing me, lifting and releasing me steadily.

I arch my back and roll my hips as we move together, each movement building a tension low in my belly and rapidly increasing in intensity. If we keep this up, I will come very soon. I almost don’t want to because this building anticipation feels so good.

We both open our eyes and gaze at each other, watching the other as the sensations between us steadily grow into bliss. It hits me first, and I can’t help crying out as I come more intensely than I ever have before. My entire body shakes with the pleasure rushing through me, radiating from my center to every other nerve ending. The pulsating orgasm around him as he fills me completely is deepened as I see him watching me, enjoying my pleasure.

The aftershocks are still rolling through me as he reaches his peak, and I rock my hips harder, hungrily taking him in as far as he can go. His hips jerk to meet mine as he strains to contain himself. His hands slide up my back, and he pulls me to him, burying his face between my breasts, breathing deeply but unsteadily as he shudders inside me.

This position feels so natural, our arms wrapped around each other desperately, while he fits inside of me so perfectly. It’s so good I don’t want to move for fear of breaking the spell between us. Destroying the magic that seems to be elevating us to another level in our relationship.

It’s almost too perfect if there is such a thing. Making this feel like a house of cards, delicate and fragile. I don’t want to believe we’re so precarious. I want to think that we’re strong, building a solid foundation, and things like this only reinforce that.

That’s what I want to think. Whether I do or not is another question.

Chapter Twenty-Three

OLIVER

NEVER WANNA LEAVE

In the light of day, everything is different between us. It’s as though we’ve burnt a bridge, but not between us, behind us. Everything that was holding us back from being with each other is now dead and buried. Or so I thought.

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