Page 25 of Ms. Lead

My heart tugs toward Bianca again, and I find myself yearning for things I can’t have, as I seem to be doing a lot lately. Seeing the two of them together pulls emotions out of me that I not only didn’t expect but didn’t think I was capable of anymore. The past year, I have shut down everything in me that had any sort of hope for a future, but Bianca Torino is somehow sparking life into those dreams. Dreams I have no business having, let alone the right to pull someone else into the nightmare those dreams will inevitably become.

The pins and needles shooting pain in my foot and leg that still remains is a reminder of the nightmare I still need to face. I can’t expect anyone else to want to face that with me. It would be pure hubris to even ask.

Their melodic chorus of laughter reaches me and melts something inside. Something that is trying to convince me to try to have a relationship with Bianca, that she’ll be understanding, and that it would be worth the effort in the long run.

It’s hope.

Something inside me still wants to hope, and it’s the scariest thing I’ve ever felt. It twists my stomach into knots, but not entirely in a bad way. Now that I'm allowing them to surface, I’m unsure what to do with all these new emotions.

Fortunately, I don’t have time to dwell on it anymore as a man a few years younger than me, probably in his late twenties, enters the café. This must be Theo.

“Uncle Theo!” Ava exclaims, sliding off her chair and running to hug him.

I’d forgotten that Theo’s brother Noah is married to Normandy Carmichael’s sister Chelsie. It’s not a direct relation, but I know titles like ‘aunt’ or ‘uncle’ are used frequently for extended family. Just like Bianca is ‘Aunt B.’

He swoops her into his arms, and she gives him a sloppy kiss on his cheek, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

“Are you here to talk to Mr. Belly?” she asks, and I can’t help the blush climbing up my neck at the nickname. It’s one thing to use it around Bianca. It’s another thing entirely to use it around one of my interview subjects.

“I think I am.” His brow furrows in confusion, but Bianca secretly nods her head in my direction with a smile.

“He’s over there.” Ava points at me as he lowers her back to the floor, and she climbs back into her chair.

“Mr. Bellamy?” he asks, stepping over to me and tentatively holding out a hand to shake.

I stand and return the gesture, shaking his hand. “Please, call me Oliver. Thank you so much for meeting with me today and rearranging the time.” I wave at the chair across from me for him to take, and we sit. I nod at Ava and give her a wink in appreciation for the hand off.

“Not a problem. I’m happy to see you’ve recovered quickly.” He indicates the obvious wounds on my face.

I shrug it off and dive into the interview. Theo has inside information into the Mamana crime family that previously owned the Bliss casino where he works and is now owned by the Carmichaels. He witnessed money skimming and other nefarious activities that have led to their ultimate arrests and convictions, though at the time, he was unaware of their illegality or significance.

Over the course of our conversation, I’m able to glean some valuable insight into their dealings with other crime families and city officials, which are now under suspicion. A lot of his story hasn’t been in the press or official reports that I’ve been able to study thus far, so this fresh insider information is invaluable for my book.

About an hour into our discussion, little Ava comes up and takes our order for refills as though she were a server working for the coffee shop. Bianca stands behind her, shrugging and mouthing the word ‘sorry’ repeatedly. We give her our requests, and she pretends to write them down on an invisible note pad and proceeds to approach the counter to place the order. I get the sense this was a compromise between the two for some sort of interaction with us.

Once she’s gone, Theo studies me briefly and asks, “Do you have any children?”

It’s an innocent enough question and not entirely out of the ordinary considering our recent interactions with Ava, but something about it hits me wrong. It’s the worst possible question he could have asked at that moment.

That hope I was feeling not long ago has begun to wane. I’ve spent the past hour trying not to watch Bianca and Ava talk and play with each other, but it’s increasingly difficult.

Realizing that I’ve not given an answer, I attempt to shake off the shroud of negativity. “No. No children.” I try to keep my voice neutral but can tell by Theo’s quick frown that I’ve failed. I can feel my hope poking through my words.

He nods knowingly as if he can know anything about me. “Well, maybe someday we’ll both be blessed.”

I swallow the scoff starting to rise at his statement and quickly change the subject back to local organized crime. Oddly enough, that’s a much safer topic of discussion for me right now.

* * *

My interview with Theo takes much longer than expected, so after long goodbyes and surprising hugs from Ava for both Theo and me, Bianca takes her home. We are just wrapping up when she returns, passing Theo as she enters the café.

As she walks toward my table at the back of the room, I’m again struck by her natural beauty. Her long black hair accentuates her olive skin and red lips. Even without much makeup, she’s a stunner. Her dark brown eyes are kind, but she carries herself with pure inner strength. Obviously, she doesn’t suffer fools easily, and I am a god-damned fool.

“How did your interview go?” she asks, sliding gracefully into the seat across from me. Her genuine interest in my work only adds to her attraction.

I smile. “It went rather well, actually. Thank you.”

She nods in response, and I notice she’s again avoiding my gaze. I understand why she is since every time our eyes meet, it’s like an electrical storm erupts between us.

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