Page 75 of I Got You

“Maggie.” I push.

“It’s fine, Shane. I’m tired, and I just want to go to bed.”

She disappears down the hall, and all I know for sure is it’s not fine. I curse, turning off the TV, and with Gwen and Sean’s voices running through my head, I walk down the hall to have it out. I want her to tell me why she’s upset. Just yell at me and get it over with. I know I screwed up.

In the bedroom, I find her standing in the middle of the room, facing the doorway like she expected me. It hits me all over again how stunningly beautiful she is, but the look on her face is like a punch in the gut.

“Shane, not tonight.” She says it like a warning.

“I just want to know what’s going on. I said I was sorry.”

“Yes, I heard you.”

“Ok. Then we’re good?” Please say yes because I have no freaking clue how to deal with a woman I actually care about being mad at me.

“Yep. We’re all good.” She punctuates the ‘P,’ saying it like we’re anything but good.

I rub my face. “Maggie.”

“Shane, seriously. It’s been a long day, and I’m not interested in talking right now.”

“I want to know what’s wrong.”

“Stop. Please.” She pulls on the neck of her dress and turns to open the closet door, looking like she’s going to take it off.

“What are you doing?” My hands jet out to stop her like a little kid about to see something he shouldn’t.

“Taking off this dress. One more second, and I’m going to hyperventilate. Turn around or don’t. I don’t care. I’m sure you’ve seen bigger and better anyway.”

She starts tearing at the fabric like she’s panicking, trying to find the zipper among the sequins.

I step forward, laying my hands on her shoulders. “Hold on.” I find the zipper and tug it down, wishing I were doing this a whole other way. She holds the dress up, and I turn around.

I hear her take a deep breath of relief as the material hits the floor. There’s some shuffling, and when it fades, I turn around to see her crouched on the floor in one of my t-shirts, which looks almost as amazing as the dress. Shit. I’m pretty sure I shouldn't be focusing on that right now.

“What’s wrong?” I ask again. “Tell me, please.”

She stands and turns to face me. “Stop pushing.” I hear her voice crack. “It’s been a long day. I’m so tired. I thought….”

“You thought what?” I feel like we might finally be getting somewhere.

Her chin tips down, and she shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“I don’t understand. It matters. I had an issue I had to deal with after the game today, which took a while. I wasn’t in a good frame of mind, and then….”

She holds up her hand. “Shane, it’s over.”

“Clearly, it’s not. I want to understand, and you to tell me what the problem is.”

That fire ignites behind her eyes. “Fine. I just want to go to bed and let this be, but since you won’t, fine. Today was hard for me. Seeing Carmen with her parents. Her mom fixing her hair and helping into her dress. Her dad walking her down the aisle. It was hard. I’ll never have that. Any of it. And the dress....” She kicks at the pool of material lying on the floor. “I hate it. Every moment was like walking around with fire ants all over my body. I honestly would’ve rather been naked in front of all those people. Wearing dresses like that….” She pauses, tears welling in her eyes, and I hate myself. “All I can think about is blood. Everywhere. The smell. The sound… watching my mom die all over again.”

Her chest expands, and her throat bobs as she swallows her tears back down. “All day, I tried to focus on Carmen and John, but I just couldn’t. All I could do was miss them and everything that will never be. Reliving the most horrific and terrifying moment of my life over and over again.”

She stands tall like she’s reloading, and I deserve it. I close my eyes, disgusted with myself that I wasn’t there. I had no idea.

“I was waiting for you. You told me you would come. I kept checking my phone, thinking you’d be there, and then….” She pauses, her voice breaking into a whisper. “I wanted you to be there.”

I take a step closer, wanting to wrap her in my arms. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I probably should have, but I didn’t.” When she doesn’t move away, I reach out to pull her to me. She falls against me, her forehead on my chest. We stand that way only for a second before she pushes me away.

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