Page 68 of I Got You

Well, crap. He just has to go and get all tender and vulnerable. Now I know I’m going to get into all the things I didn’t want to. He knows just how to push me until I give.

“But there’s more to it than that. It’s not just my ankle and the kids and the fact he’s on the other side of the country.”

“What is it then?”

I pull the hem of my tank down and put my hands in my lap. “It’s opening a door that I closed and locked. If you crack it open, you have no idea what you might find. Danny is one thing, which is enough, but then you add in….”

I peek up at him and all that tenderness he tries so hard to hide, sitting waiting patiently to understand. “What if I find out I’ll never dance like I used to? I put it behind me, and I’m ok with it. I love teaching, and I don’t know…I’d like to open my own studio someday. But trying to get back to what I used to be and finding out I can’t…I don’t know if I can go through the heartbreak all over again.”

His bicep rests against my shoulder, and it’s comforting and steadying. “One thing at a time, Firefly. Danny shouldn’t be a factor.” He says it so matter-of-factly like it’s that easy.

I hug my knees to my chest. I didn’t want to talk about this, but here I am. “Danny and I dated, or at least that’s what I thought we were doing. I was young, naïve, and…infatuated. He was a bit older, really good-looking, and I’d never seen someone dance with his uninhibited rawness before. We became friends. He was my best friend. He taught me a whole other side to dancing, and it made me better. It was amazing, combining his style with mine. I thought, like any young dumb girl, that he was it. That I was it for him. I was blinded by love or fascination or whatever.”

I shake my head, remembering. “When I got the lead in the ballet, I couldn’t believe I’d actually done it.” I glance over at Shane, his eyes dead set on me. “I showed up at his apartment to tell him. I wanted to surprise him but found him in bed with a woman. Another dancer we were friends with. He was my best friend. It was humiliating. I couldn’t understand and just stood there, staring, wondering what I’d done wrong. I didn’t think about what I was doing. Everything I thought I knew just blew up in my face in a second.”

I’m pretty sure I hear Shane grunt, but I keep going. “I freaked out and took off, tripped down the stairs, and broke my ankle in two places. I didn’t even feel the pain until I hobbled out and hailed a cab, realizing I needed to get to the ER. Then I had to carry myself in and tell the producers I couldn’t dance in the show when they’d taken a chance on me. It took me a long time to get over it. I lost my best friend and my dream in one night. I was so embarrassed. I’d lost everything over a big fat lie I let myself believe.”

“I’ve moved on. I know now I was meant to come back here. I wouldn’t have given up my spot in the show by choice, and I would’ve missed out on time with my dad. Who knows what would’ve happened with the kids. I don’t want to go back there or dance with him again. I’m different. It could never be the same, and I don’t want it to.”

Shane bumps my arm with his. “You shouldn’t give him the power to keep you from doing this. He doesn’t deserve that kind of weight over your decision. If you want it, you do it on your terms this time. You call the shots.”

I rest my head on his shoulder, exhaustion taking over. “My life is here, though. I can’t just pick up and fly to New York every other day.”

“When you want something, you figure out how to make it work. Make him bring his douchey ass here, then I’ll kick it all the way back to New York.”

Sitting here next to Shane, it somehow seems possible. “I don’t know, Grizz.”

“I know you can do it. I also know you can put the hurt aside and show the world what you’ve got. It’s what we do. We play through the pain and hurt because we can’t not play, never knowing when it will be our last time.”

I grab his arm, tugging it to me, and squeeze. I know how much he misses playing. “I’ll think about it. Will you come in all Grizzly like and intimidate the shit out of him?”

“If I find myself in the same vicinity with him, he’ll understand exactly what’s up,” Shane growls.

I laugh, having no doubt he means it, and I definitely wouldn’t mind seeing it. We sit together quietly, me still resting against him. “Will you read to me now? Please.”

He huffs, and I know he rolled his eyes. I scoot down to lie on my side while he opens the book.

“One chapter. That’s it.”

“Deal.”

I move an inch closer to him as he starts to read. His rough voice is just as soothing as his strength and warmth. I think about what he said about not giving Danny or that awful situation power, but mostly, it’s his confidence in my ability that makes me want to try. His faith that somehow I could figure it all out and dance one more time.

Chapter 23

MAGGIE

“What is that?” I ask into the dark. There’s a buzzing sound, but why isn’t he doing anything about it.

Shane groans. Not his usual growly groan. It’s weak and pathetic.

I’m tucked tight next to him, but when my hand touches his arm, he’s hot and clammy. I push to sit up and start searching for whatever is buzzing. It’s not my phone. I crawl over Shane, resting my body across his to reach his phone, and he whimpers.

I shut his alarm off, noticing the time. Crap. It’s late. I slide back to my side and pat around as my hand moves over his neck, ear, then hair.

“What are you doing?” he whines. Shane just whined like a little boy. I stifle a laugh.

“Trying to find your forehead. You feel hot.”

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