Page 55 of I Got You

“Like hell you’re not. You deal with these hormone-driven nut balls all day. He’s my brother, and I’ll never be able to remove the images going through my head right now, let alone witness the real thing. I’d have to burn my eyeballs out with a hot curling iron. Do you want to be married to someone who’s blinded by the vision of teenage…relations. I can’t even say it. Hurry up!”

I really want to laugh, but I’m smart enough to know that won’t help things.

“Shane.”

“Yeah?”

“I thought you hung up on me. Are you about here? I’m going to go out of my mind. We cannot have any babies being made in the basement. I haven’t talked to him about this. I don’t know if Cole has. I should’ve made sure he did. Do you think he has condoms? Are fourteen-year-olds responsible enough to buy condoms?”

“Maggie, calm down. I’m here. I’ll be in.”

“Thank God.”

I park, open the door, and find her in the laundry room, pacing.

“Get down there and stop it.” She tries to push me into the kitchen, but I resist. I did not sign up for this.

I rest my hands on her shoulders. “Hold on. Calm down. Do you even know if Shelby is here?”

Her eyes are large and wild. “I can only suspect. I’ve not been informed otherwise.”

I counter with rationale. “There’s no car outside.”

“Someone probably dropped her off. Seriously, get down there.” Her palms push against my chest. “Do you not remember what it’s like to be fourteen and home alone with a big-boobed hottie?”

Actually, I don’t because I never had my own room, and I sure as hell wasn’t stupid enough to take any girls back to where I was staying. I do have an idea of what I would’ve done if I could’ve.

“Ok. I’ll go down there, but you’re going with me. We’ll knock and go from there. First, you’ve got to chill the hell out. Panicking is never good.”

“I’m so glad you can be Mr. Cool and Calm about this. Move it. We’re wasting valuable time.”

We head down the stairs, where music plays a little too loudly to hear anything, but Maggie presses her ear to the door. Oh, for real. I roll my eyes and knock. A second later, the music lowers.

“Yeah?” Hank hollers, annoyance filling the entire single syllable.

“Uh. It’s Shane.” I stammer because this should not be my role.

“Yeah?” Hank hollers again.

Shit. Why the hell am I doing this? “Uh. We’re home. Just checking to see if you want some pizza. We brought home leftovers.” Maggie looks at me wide-eyed, like she might puke. I shrug.

“No thanks.”

Out of patience, Maggie huffs, taking matters into her own hands and knocks again. “Hank. Open the door. You know the rules about girls in your room, and so help me if you’re in there doing anything other than your nails or braiding each other's hair, I’ll....”

The door flies open, and Hank…is…pissed. His face is red, his eyes are squinted, and his hands are fists. “Maggie, I know the rules, so get off of it.”

Maggie sticks her head around the door frame and takes a long look around the room. “Do I need to look under the bed or in the closet?”

Hank crosses his arms. “Be my guest, Sherlock. She’s not here.”

“I thought you said she was coming over.” Maggie pushes, her hands on her hips.

“Yeah, well, she did, and she’s gone, but she wasn’t in my room.” Maggie’s entire presence deflates. Her shoulders and her arms hang as she comprehends this information. “And if I was going to have sex, it definitely wouldn’t be here.”

Great, Hank. That’s really going to help things. I shoot him a look of warning, telling him to stop talking.

“You better not be having sex with anyone, anywhere. You’re too young. It's a big deal despite what people think, and your friends are doing. And unless you want me to provide you with a sack full of condoms, you better talk to Cole or Shane before you think about doing anything like having sex. Otherwise, I will talk about it night and day and make you watch videos and read books and….”