Page 53 of I Got You

“Defense looked good out there today. The team is starting off the season right. How does it feel to be on the sidelines instead of making the sacks?”

I hate this part. I hated it when I played, having to gather my thoughts and speak in front of people when all I wanted to do was have a quiet moment to reflect.

The game went really well today. My guys played like they were in it to win it, and they did. Cole was spot on, and even though we have work to do, it felt really good to be a part of the game again.

I rub my jaw. “I’m uh…I’m just happy to be here. We’ve worked hard preparing for today and this season. I’m hoping we continue to play to the best of our ability and keep bringing in a win.”

Another reporter pops in.

“Only a few months ago, you were out on the field. Seeing you jump into this position was a surprise, but defense looks better than ever. Is it safe to say you’re quickly settling into the coaching role?”

“I’m excited about this opportunity. I have a lot to learn, and I’m getting to work under one of the best. Coach Cavanaugh is an exceptional coach, and I’m very fortunate to be here working with and learning from him. This is an outstanding team with a lot of potential, and I’m looking forward to seeing what we can do this season.”

My eyes catch movement in the back, and I see Maggie squeeze in along the wall. She’s still in my jersey and beautiful as ever. Thousands of fans have called and chanted my name over the years, but her voice hitting my ears over the music and noise pulled me from my nerves. Turning to see her bright smile and wearing my jersey, something shifted inside me that could have registered on the Richter scale.

I’ve played football since high school and never had someone I know wear my name and number. Maggie will never know what it means to me. At every turn, she surprises me, and as her eyes meet mine from the back of this small room, she crosses hers and sticks out her tongue as if she knows exactly how much I hate this. The grin that follows, that’s just for me, brings a peace over me that’s foreign and could be addicting.

Getting back to the raised hands, I point to one, hoping I’m almost done. This room is hot, there are too many people, and I’m starting to sweat.

“There’s a rumor that you recently married the daughter of the great Tim Matthews. Judging by the ring on your finger, I’m speculating that might be true. Do you care to comment, and if it’s true, do you see any conflict with coaching her brother, Cole?”

I knew this was coming. I’d prepared for it, but talking about my private life was always where I drew the line. Today, though, I need to do this.

I find Maggie again, hoping her presence will ground me. “I’m sure you all know how I feel about talking about my private life.” The room fills with soft laughter. “It’s usually off limits, but today, I’ll confirm that Maggie and I did marry. As far as impacting the team in any way, including Cole, my relationship with Maggie is personal, and my job as a coach is professional. Cole is a player in his own right, has his own coaches working with him, and it will remain that way.”

Hands shoot up like fireworks.

“Fans will be sad that the perpetual bachelor is off the market. Can you tell us how you two met and whether that was part of your decision to join this team?”

That smart mouth turns into a smirk, and I’d like to force her to come up to answer these questions.

“I thought we were here to talk about football,” I joke, but not really. The room is quietly waiting. I shift my weight, trying to decide what I’m comfortable with. “Maggie was quick to school me on a few things about football.” The room erupts with laughter. “The rest is history. Many factors went into deciding to come to Colorado State. When things aligned, it was an opportunity I couldn’t refuse.”

“Tears are going to be shed all across the country. Can you give those broken hearts a little more? How did you know Maggie was the one?”

I take a minute to think through my answer, knowing people around the country will be hearing or reading these words. Specifically, a couple who wants to rip away everything that matters to Maggie and beginning to matter very much to me.

“Maggie shows me every day the kind of person I want to be. She’s smart and brave and a fighter. She’s the kindest and most self-sacrificing person I’ve ever met. It really wasn’t a decision. If there was someone I’d spend my life with, I wouldn’t want to be anyone other than her.”

I find Maggie again, and she’s studying me like she’s deciphering what I just said. Distracted and caught up with her, I didn’t catch the next question.

“I’m sorry. Can you repeat the question?”

“There are reports that Tim Matthews has been ill and passed away recently. Can you confirm?”

I take a deep breath. This was the question I was dreading and hoping to avoid. Rob said to decline to comment, but these people are only focused on the death of a legend, having no idea that he was so much beyond that. He gave my brothers and me, and kids like us, hope when we had none, but I see so much more of that man every day now in his children. It’s so much more than football.

I grip the sides of the podium a little tighter. “This is my last question,” I announce. I’m ready to hug Maggie for the cameras, but secretly more for myself, and move past this. “I won’t comment, but I’ll say that the only reason I’m here today is that, as a boy, I dreamed of becoming just like The Rocket. I mean, what boy didn’t. I’ve been honored to learn that the man off the field was really who we should all aspire to be. Thank you.”

I wave in thanks, stepping away from the mic as reporters throw out questions and cameras click in unison. I walk straight through to find Maggie waiting for me. As if it’s the most natural thing, I pull her into my arms and hug her tight.

Her thin arms wrap around my neck, and she nuzzles in the way I’m only beginning to get used to. “You did great. If this coaching thing doesn’t work out, you should look into commentating or hosting your own sports show.” I groan, knowing she’s teasing me. “Amazing game, coach,” she whispers into my neck. “I knew you were going to kill it.”

“Yeah?”

She pulls away to look at me. “Uh…yeah. No way I’d wear the jersey of some has-been.” My lips turn up despite my protest. “You’ve got talent, Shane Carter.”

I look into her eyes, still hearing the clicks of cameras. Knowing we’re giving them what they want, but wish this was private. Just me and Maggie. I know this is for show, but it doesn’t feel that way. There’s a war beginning to break out inside me.

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