Page 52 of I Got You

He leans his elbows on the island counter next to me. Even sweaty, he smells fantastic. It’s like his pores ooze a natural manly musk of evergreen and spice.

“Yeah. We’ll see.”

Even quiet, Shane is more verbal than nervous Shane. I know he’s completely in his head, so I take a risk. “You know when you used to come through the tunnel and walk out on the field?” He peeks at me from the corner of his eyes like he’s afraid of what I might say. “I could see that you were all in here.” I tap his temple with my knuckle. “Going through tape all over again, the plays, and everything you know about the opposing offense. Probably thinking through every scenario and how you’d react.”

He turns his focus back to the counter. “It never mattered how many games I played; it was always like it was the first time. A bad play, a miss, a hard hit…it’s never been acceptable to me. Now, I’m relying on these kids to make it happen, and I just have to stand back and watch.”

“But this time, when things go awry, you’ll share what you learned and get them back on track. You’ll teach them so they won’t make the same mistake twice. No one, not even you, Grizz, is perfect. All you can do is show them how to recover and do better next time.”

When Shane doesn’t say anything, I hope he’s reflecting on what I said, but then my insecurities kick in, and my sassiness takes over. “I can do what I do with the kids when they get nervous.”

He gives me another unamused side-eye.

“Are you ready for this, big guy?” I waggle my eyebrows. Lose Yourself by Eminem starts filling the room, and I start dancing.

Within a few seconds, Teddy and Garrett enter. “What’s going on? Who’s got the nerves?” Teddy asks.

I grin at Shane as he stands to his full height. I keep sing-rapping along, and Teddy and Garrett join me, gathering their breakfast. Shane tries hard not to break his stone face, but I can see it’s doing the trick.

Hank walks in wearing shorts and a look of complete annoyance. “Seriously, who’s got a problem this early?”

That makes Shane chuckle, and people, I’ve done it. The big man is out of his head and standing here in the kitchen with us

∞∞∞

The kids and I pull into the stadium an hour early to be sure we don’t miss Shane and Cole running onto the field. Shane left this morning just as quietly as he always does, only this time, he looked a little green.

I have to assume that how he grew up, moving from foster home to foster home, he doesn’t know anything other than handling things on his own. I want to show him that he’s not alone anymore. I wanted the ring to prove that, but I also know it takes more than just saying it. It takes repetition and breaking old habits and expectations.

My quiet morning turned into complete chaos, trying to get out the door to drop Hank off for an away game. Then, there were internet errors in submitting my pick-up order and a full-on meltdown about not being able to wear a princess dress to the game.

Somehow, we made it to our seats in the first row, directly on the fifty-yard line, with snacks and no spills. Garrett, Teddy, and Liv sit and get comfortable as I scan the field. The sun is high, the sky is blue, and the fall air is just beginning to push in. It’s a perfect day for football.

As the announcers’ voices fill the stadium, excitement rolls through me with the anticipation of Shane and Cole coming through the tunnel. I’m ready for a good game but not quite ready for the reporters afterward.

The latest word from Ed, my dad’s agent, is that he and Rob have leaked information, and reporters will be set to ask Shane about the growing rumor that he’s married. He said Shane should also be prepared for questions about Dad, given the rumors, and to decline to comment since the official statement will be released this week.

I push all those thoughts aside as the teams are introduced. For today, I’m going to enjoy the game. I spot Cole and nudge the kids. We stand and give him the official salute, pumping our fists in the air three times, just as we used to sit in the stands and watch our dad do. The kids smile and giggle as Cole gives us a goofy face in return before he gets back to business.

I wait, still looking for Shane. Walking out today will be very different for him, and after what he shared this morning, it’ll be difficult. I know he wasn’t ready for his playing days to be over, and so much of him still yearns to be the one suiting up and running onto the field.

Then I see him walking down the sideline toward us, game face on. His broad shoulders are rigid under his snug team pullover. The man was striking in pads and a helmet, but he might be even more so sporting The Moose logo and shorts with headphones around his neck.

As he nears, I stand, cupping my hands around my mouth. “Carter.” I see the instant I break through his force field, and his eyes snap to mine.

Liv sees him and waves. “Shaney.”

There’s just a hint of a smile before his eyes return to mine. I twist, revealing his name and number on his old jersey on my back. His eyes never leave mine, and I can’t read them. He just looks at me, frozen in his tracks. It's a long, hard look, and the world around us blurs for just those few seconds. Then, before I’m ready, he places a hand on his chest, giving it a slight rub, and nods ever so slightly.

I have no idea what just happened. I need a replay. A redo. Someone call a referee over to interpret what in the world just went down. It was intense, like the calm before the storm. Eerily quiet but extreme.

I shake myself from it, resolving to revisit it later. The announcer asks, ‘Who’s ready for some football?’ as players move to the center of the field for the coin toss. The ball is punted, and Cole jogs into position. We all go crazy, ready for some action.

My gaze lands on Shane again. His back is to me, talking and pumping up his players. My heart can’t help but be filled with pride. He’s strong and kind, taking his career-ending hit and turning it into something amazing, not just for himself but for each of the young men hanging on his every word.

Chapter 18

SHANE

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