Page 116 of I Got You

I pull on the next dress and turn, looking at different angles in the mirror. “Ok. This might be a winner,” I say, stepping out.

I hear a collective gasp and smile.

“He’s going to send us thank you notes.” Simone comes closer to inspect. “Yep. I think you might be right. You look…amazing. How does it feel?”

I run my hands down the soft, slinky material. It feels good. Not confining or suffocating, which are requirements. “Do you think it’s too short?” I inch the hem down a little further.

“With your toned legs and behind, it’s perfect. Shane better watch himself. You’re going to have some eyes rolling out of their heads.” Simone sits back, satisfied.

I laugh. “Thank God. I’m done. I never want to try on clothes ever again.” I return to the dressing room, ready to leave this place and never return.

“Sooooo.” Simone starts. “You haven’t said much about Mr. Carter tonight.”

I close my eyes, reliving our recent kisses, and my body temperature rises a couple degrees. I’m not sure I’d know what to say even if I wanted to. “He’s been busy getting ready for the playoffs, and I’ve been rehearsing.”

Carmen snorts. “Really, that’s all you’re going to give us. I see that glow that surrounds you. You can’t hide that from us.”

I step out of the dressing room with the dress over my arm. “Listen, nothing has changed. I like Shane…a lot. He’s so different from what I first thought, and if anything more is going to happen between us, it’s going to take time. He keeps his thoughts and feelings on lockdown, and I’m not going to pry.” I shrug, moving towards the register. “It’s up to him how far this goes.”

Neither of them moves, so I stop. “What?”

Simone crosses her arms. “Honey, I know there’s more to this than you liking him a lot. He either needs to poop or get off the pot. He can only play mysterious and guarded for so long. It’s getting really old.”

Shane isn’t playing mysterious, but he is guarded, and from the little bit I know about his childhood, how can I blame him. I want him to let me in, but I know that takes time, and I can be patient. “There’s only so much I can do about it. He’s either going to let me in or not.”

“We just don’t want to see you get hurt,” Carmen says, coming closer. “He seems like a really good guy, but he clearly doesn’t know what to do with you.”

Oh, if they only knew. Shane knows exactly what to do with me, but I’m beginning to think that he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He tries to remain detached and uninvolved where he feels safe. Where no one can hurt him.

“He’s not had it easy, and I knew going into this that he had no intention of getting married or even having a serious relationship. My feelings are my own, and I care about him. So no matter what happens or doesn’t happen, he’s going to be a part of my life.”

Simone clears her throat. “So if he doesn’t offer anything more, you’re fine with that?”

She knows I’m not, and it’s my turn to cross my arms. “No. I’m crossing no lines until I understand where we are or aren’t headed, but given my circumstances, I’m not in any rush. Trust takes time, and right now, my focus is Liv, so I’m just taking it one day at a time.” My stomach squeezes thinking about it all, and waiting for the fallout has been torturous.

Carmen steps forward, putting her arm around me. “Ok. I just want you to be so happy, and I think Shane makes you really happy.”

I couldn’t prevent my smile if I tried. “He’s been nothing but honest and good. I just want him to be happy.”

“Awwwweee,” Simone whines. “You’ve gone and fallen for that big solemn hunk. I knew it!”

I roll my eyes as Carmen laughs. “He may be spilling guts after he sees you in that dress. Girl, you’re going to set his eyeballs on fire.”

∞∞∞

At home, I toss my purse and keys on the counter, finding Shane and the kids in the living room watching a movie.

“Shaney said we could have a movie night.” Liv is snuggled up next to him, munching on popcorn. The boys are on the floor. Garrett’s nose is in a book, and Teddy is pretending to blow up his transformers.

“Looks like you have things under control, so I’m just going to….” I start to step away, and Shane grabs me and pulls me down onto his lap.

“If you think for one second that you’re leaving me here with these little punks, you’ve lost your mind.”

His arms are squeezing me tight, and I turn to smile at him. “Bad night?”

He makes a kind of snorting sound. “I ordered pizza, and they fought about toppings. Liv spilled juice all over Garrett’s homework, and I thought he was going to internally combust. Teddy laughed, only making it worse, and then when the pizza got here, he refused to eat it because it had one small piece of misplaced onion. Oh, and Liv asked me where babies come from.”

I put my hand over my mouth to hide my laughter. I’m not sure Shane has ever said so many words at once. “What did you tell her?”

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