Page 108 of I Got You

Shane pulls me into his lap, and I let go of years of pain and suffering. I cry for the girl I was trying so hard to fight a battle I wasn’t sure I would win, and now the woman who’s worn an invisible tattoo of guilt, punishing myself for not being smarter, better, or more capable.

“They aren’t going to get anywhere near Liv or you ever again.” Shane’s business tone is turned on. “You understand me. Never.”

My chin drifts down to my chest again. “Shane, what's in that envelope is awful. I don’t want you to see me like that.” My voice cracks, and the fear I’ve locked up finally breaks free from the compartment I’ve shoved it in for so long. “I don’t want to see myself like that. How will I explain this to the boys?”

“You’re not going to have to. I don’t care what we have to do. We’ll figure something out.” He sounds so sure I want to believe him, but I’ve tried everything.

“I’m going to give it to my attorney. They’ll threaten to make it public and find the source of the drugs. My dad hired someone to dig around. They’re going to contact him or threaten to if it comes to that, and hope they let this go to keep face. I just want this to all be over.”

“Maggie…I’m so sorry.” He says it like it pains him. He puts his arm around me and pulls me to his chest. I rest my head against him, feeling safer than I’ve ever felt.

After allowing myself to rest against him for a minute, I tell him the rest. “When I got home, and the drugs were finally out of my system, I dove into dancing again. It was like a wake-up call. I knew my mom would never want me to give up. She’d have wanted me to keep going, so I went for it. All in and somehow made it…into Juilliard.”

“What Danny said the other day at lunch about me looking like I was strung out, it hurt. He has no idea, but it’s humiliating, and I’m so ashamed that I didn’t realize what was happening, and then Jared…I wish I could take it all back.”

Shane leans, tipping my wet chin up to be sure I look at him. “Maggie, you have nothing to be ashamed of. What they did…it’s inexcusable. It’s indefensible. And I don’t care how Jared got in your room or why; he had no right to take advantage. Maggie, he hurt you.”

The warm, salty taste of more tears hit my quivering lips. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I really thought getting married would be enough, but maybe that wasn’t fair, and I should’ve told you so that….”

“Stop.” He cuts me off. “Don’t. Don’t apologize for this. Ever.”

“I want this to be enough. I want to know that Liv isn’t going anywhere.”

“She’s not,” Shane says like it's final. “She’s staying right here with us.”

Us. That sounds really nice. I want to ask how long there’ll be an us. I don’t want this to end, but one way or another, it will. How long will he stay when it’s over?

I can’t ask. Not right now. I don’t want the answer. For now, I just want to sit here with his arms around me and try to believe these pictures and documents will be worth the pain. That in the end, something good will come of it.

Chapter 41

SHANE

I step into my hotel room, knowing it will be a while before I sleep. I quickly change to find the gym, hoping it will help clear my head.

Tomorrow is a big game that will determine whether or not we make it into the playoffs. I have more tape to watch, but all I can think about is Maggie dropping off the documents in the morning. I hate that I’m not there to go with her.

I never did look inside the envelope. She said she didn’t want me to see her that way, and I wanted to respect that. I didn’t need to see the pictures to know how bad it was. I also didn’t want to see them because I’m not sure I’d ever be able to erase them from my memory once I did.

The fact that she feels ashamed or responsible for any part of that makes me want to finish what her dad started, showing her she was just a kid who was taken advantage of when she was most vulnerable. I can’t stand it. Just the thought makes me want to tear them apart, limb by limb. I’d also like to find Jared and remove his head from his body. However, none of that will help Maggie, and I’d never want to make this harder on her. She trusted me with this, her most private and sacred experiences and feelings. I won’t make her regret it. Ever.

My room door clicks shut behind me, and I walk the short distance to the gym. Before leaving today, Liv skipped into the room and jumped up on the bed while I packed, telling me every detail of her day at preschool. When I sat on the bed beside her, she crawled onto my lap and asked when I’d be back, making it harder to leave.

I know now that she relies on stability and routine, counting on the people in her life to be there when they say they’ll be there. Even at five, she’s hesitant to trust that someone won’t leave her, and even with reassurance that I’d be back, I could see her reluctance to let me go.

I can’t even bring myself to think about the possibility of Cliff and Joan taking this custody case to court. Liv’s pure innocence and sensitive little heart wouldn’t withstand it. The thought makes me sick, and I need to sweat it out before it consumes me. She doesn’t just count on Maggie to keep her safe. She’s counting on me, and I’ll do anything.

An hour later, sweat-soaked and a little less tense, I find myself back in my room. Checking my phone, I see I have a missed call from Rob, and I dial him back.

“Hey, buddy. You ready for the big game tomorrow?” Rob’s chipper voice booms through the phone, and I suspect he didn’t just call me to wish me luck on the game.

“Getting there.” I pull out my tablet to review the remaining tape I downloaded.

“Well, I’m glad your energy and enthusiasm are spot on, as always. Anyway, do you have time to talk about an opportunity? The sooner I can get back to them the better.”

“Not sure I want to talk about future opportunities right before heading into a big game.”

I’m not sure I have the bandwidth to process one more thing, but I know that Rob will push forward no matter what I say. He’s not one to let any possible positive opportunity slip by. It’s one of the reasons he’s my agent and why I’ve gotten this far. So, even though I don’t want to talk right now, I’ll at least hear him out.

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