Page 37 of I Got You

Shane stands with the kids, Coach Cavanaugh and Clara. I see a man who I believe will hold up his end of this deal, but for me, this is a sacrifice that’s so much bigger than walking away from my dream of being a professional ballerina.

I want friendship, companionship, and undying love. I want my dad here to give him “the talk” about never hurting me and to hug me and give me away to a man he trusts will love me beyond. I want my mom to smooth my dress, kiss my cheek, and light a fire under everyone’s asses to make sure this day is perfect.

But there’s none of it. No parents. No church. No…love. This is it. This is how it will be, and the four kids standing in the hall are worth it.

I offer Cole a small smile. “I’m good.”

“You sure?” He searches for confirmation.

I place a hand on his shoulder and squeeze. “Yeah.”

“Hey, lady. It’s about time. Let’s get you ready.” Simone grabs my hand and pulls me up. My stomach tightens into a knot, and as much as I want to run, I won’t. “All set?” Her perfectly shaped eyebrows tip in, and I ignore her concern as Carmen joins us.

“You look beautiful.” Carmen wraps an arm around me.

I glance at Shane again, and his gaze meets mine. He looks so handsome in a charcoal gray suit, crisp white shirt, and lavender tie, which makes his eyes look more mossy green.

“I need a minute with Shane.” I’m already in motion.

“Ok. We’ll round up the kids.” I hear Carmen say softly.

I move swiftly to Shane’s side, not missing his furrowed brow as I pull him toward a short dark hallway that houses the janitorial closet. I face him, and his eyebrows are so close together that they almost form a unibrow.

“Are you ok?” His large hand lands on my shoulder, and I have no idea why he isn’t completely freaked out by what we are about to do. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

I can only stare at him as if somehow I’ll be able to make sense of why he’s agreed to this and why he’s so calm. “How can you be so sure? We’re about to go in there and commit our lives to one another. Like, we have to promise forever, just you and me. No one else.”

My stomach pinches tight again as a fresh wave of panic rolls through me. “You never wanted to get married, but don’t you think that someday a woman might just come along that makes you change your mind? I mean, there are millions and millions of women out there. After this, you’ll be stuck with me, and maybe it won’t be forever, but… don’t you want the chance to find that person you absolutely cannot live without? The one who makes you smile just thinking about her. The one who would throw down in a heartbeat if someone messes with any part of you.”

I try to inhale, but my windpipe is the diameter of a straw. “My parents had that, so I know it exists.” My voice cracks. Shit. “I’m sorry. I’m completely freaking out. This…This is just not how I envisioned….”

“Hey.” Shane’s hand wraps around mine, and he waits for me to look at him. “It’s all going to be ok. Like you said, it’s just you and me. We get to decide how this goes. Nobody else.”

I see the solidness of him. The strength, I have no doubt, got him through some really tough times. Times that I’m sure I couldn’t even begin to understand. His courage seeps into me as he stares into my eyes.

Despite my sweaty palm, his big warm hand holds mine a little tighter. “We’re in this together. Ok? You don’t have to do this by yourself anymore.” His eyes stay on mine, and I have no idea where this giant sensitive man has come from, but I believe him.

I try to take a deep breath. “Ok. You and me. We got this.”

I think I almost see a smirk before he lets go of my hand, and the belt around my chest loosens.

“Guys, you're almost up.” Carmen’s voice startles me from around the corner.

Shane moves, but I pull him back. “Wait. Kiss me.”

“What?”

“Kiss me. Just do it quick. We can’t go in there and have pictures snapped of us kissing, looking all awkward and weird like we’ve never actually kissed before…which we haven’t. It can’t look like that.” My nerves dissipate further with his blank stare. “Come on.”

I move into him, and now he looks like the one needing a pep talk. I laugh. Like really laugh, where my stomach starts to hurt in a good way and his frown returns.

“Why do you all of a sudden look nervous now?” I smile, feeling so much better than I had a minute ago. “It’s not going to be that bad, really. I brushed my teeth and everything this morning.”

His eyes are set on my mouth, unmoving, that deep crease between his brows more visible than I’ve ever seen it.

“Oh, good grief.” I grab his lapels hauling myself up because even in heels, I have to move to my tiptoes to gently press my lips against his. They’re warm and soft, and I can feel the slight scruff of his face on mine, which I find I like a lot more than I should.

Shane’s hand slides to my lower back. His fingers press into me, holding me there for just a second before I pull back, but not quite letting him go. His frown is gone, but his eyes flick between mine and show something I’ve not seen before. It’s the first time in this whole thing that I’ve seen something that might look just a little bit like…fear.

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