Page 32 of I Got You

“Who wants to start by telling us what’s up this week?” I ask.

Each Sunday, we talk about what’s going on at school, which helps me know what the schedule will look like for the week. Despite trying to stay in tune with all the school events between the kids, I can’t keep up.

Garrett starts. “Science club starts this week. Wednesdays after school until 4:30.”

“Ok. I got that.” I make a mental note again. “I’ll pick you up on my way home.”

“Scott’s birthday party is next weekend at the ice rink,” Teddy adds with a mouthful. “We’re playing hockey. He’s on the team, and I want you to sign me up.”

“We’ll see. I need to know how rough eight-year-olds are, but remind me to get a gift.”

“How many days until my birthday?” Liv bounces in her seat.

“About a month, sweetie.”

“How many days is that? Can I have a Belle party, and can Molly and Celia come? Carmen and John are coming, and I hope Simone is. She looks like a real princess.”

One more thing to add to my never-ending list. “We’ll get working on your party soon. Ok?”

“Shaney, you have to come to my party. It’s going to be so fun.” Liv scoots even closer to him, invading his space. I’m pretty sure if it was anyone else, he’d sneer.

Shane grabs his water bottle, twisting the cap to take a drink as water spews out of holes like a sprinkler. I can’t help but laugh as the boys giggle, and Cole chuckles. Shane glares as moisture drips down the front of him.

“Teddy, go get a towel, you little punk,” I say, but like the stealth operative I am, as he turns his back, I pull a Nerf gun from under the table and nail him twice in the back.

Being Teddy, he freezes and dramatically falls to the ground like he’s been shot. The whole table erupts again, and as I catch Shane’s eye, I wink in an I got your back kind of way.

Oh my goodness, I just winked at him, and the intensity in his eyes makes my knees go just a little bit weak. What…is….going…on and what in the world am I getting myself into? The football coach at the end of the table and I seemed to have just formed some kind of unspoken alliance.

I’m not sure I understand exactly what this alliance will entail, but my growing curiosity is eager to find out.

Chapter 10

SHANE

I sit on the large sectional in Maggie’s living room with a bag of frozen corn on my knee. The Matthews work like a well-oiled machine, clearing the table and cleaning the kitchen while Liv introduces me to each of her princesses.

Every single thing about this is foreign to me. All the way from this two-story suburban home in a neighborhood filled with minivans and playhouses to the inside jokes and laughter that fills this house.

I didn’t know what to expect when I pulled up, but it wasn’t this understated brick home that looks like it belongs to an ordinary American family. It’s not that it isn’t a beautiful home. It's just that I expected Tim Matthews' children to live in something more like a fortified mansion on a hill, complete with a gate and security guard.

Stepping inside, it felt warm and inviting. The stuff scattered around. The pictures. The constant noise. It feels like a home. When you grow up without one, you notice all the little things others take for granted.

I didn’t grow up with any kind of stable structure or routine. I lived each day hoping to stay under the radar and make it to the next unscathed. In the group home, that was easy. I followed the rules and did what was expected of me.

During my brief stays in foster homes, I never knew what to expect, so I tried to blend in. The more I could go unnoticed, the better. That was something I benefited from on the field. Even though I was big, I could make myself small, unnoticeable until I wasn’t.

Being here, I find myself reverting to old habits, shrinking, trying to blend in with this family, and so far, maybe I’m not doing such a bad job. I don’t know anything about playing princesses, but Liv doesn’t care. These boys seem to be ok with my presence, except Hank, but I think Maggie might be right when she says he and I are a lot alike. Cole seems cool, but I have no doubt I’ll get an ear full if Maggie and I go through with this.

Maggie turns on SportsCenter’s preseason highlights and settles back into the corner of the couch, stretching her bare feet towards me. Watching her with these kids today has me in awe. I have no idea how she does this. I know today is only a tiny glimpse into her world, but she doesn’t have a clue how extraordinary this all is.

As a young boy, my days were full of anxiety and nerves. I sometimes wonder how I survived. But upon turning eighteen and obtaining freedom, I vowed to never again let myself be at the mercy of others. I would never let fear and anxiety rule my days. Although I’ve been in uncomfortable situations, I’ve always had an easy exit.

I’ve had gorgeous women throw themselves at me, lay down at my feet, willing to give up anything I demanded. For me, it was never hard to walk away. My heart had lost all feeling years ago. It’s permanently broken. I didn’t need to fill the void with anything or anyone that would only leave me emptier.

But this little spitfire has me standing on a ledge I’ve never faced before. I’m finding I never know what to expect from her. She surprises me at every turn, and I’m not exactly sure what to think about that.

Teddy nestles in next to her to read out loud. I can hear his struggle and her patient reassurance as the commentators drone on about the upcoming season.

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