Page 19 of I Got You

I look down at her, still holding the bunny tight. I’ve not only been struck by some kind of severe subconscious force, but I’ve also been struck dumb. I have no idea what to say to this child. She asked a simple question, and I can’t formulate an answer.

She stares up at me expectantly, and I will myself to get my shit together. “I…I’m Shane.” I sound like a freaking eight-year-old on the playground. Shit. “I used to play football, but now I’m a coach.”

“Are you Cole’s coach? He’s my brother. Sometimes when he takes me places, people think he’s my dad, but my dad died. He’s in heaven now.” She adds the last part quietly.

I barely catch the curse before it shoots out. I don’t know much about hanging out with kids, but I know that would be inappropriate. I have no idea what to do with children, let alone talk about things such as death.

I breathe, wiping my sweating palms on my shorts. “I’m really sorry about your dad.” I leave it at that, needing someone to rescue me. I search the surrounding area, wishing I had a flare gun. Everyone is taking their sweet ass time getting their plates, and I don’t see Maggie or Cole. I’m totally screwed.

“Can you help me cook my hotdog? Maggie told me I’m not allowed close to the fire by myself.”

I look down at her plate filled with an uncooked hotdog, a bun, chips, and mac and cheese. “Sure.”

I want to run for my life. This child and her ability to chat scares me, but I man up, grabbing a roasting fork to stab her hotdog and place it over the flames.

“Can I help?” She hops off the bench and stands next to my leg. A couple of the players join us, but they’re no help. “My daddy was a really good football player. Did you know him when you played?”

Wanting to be careful with my words, I opt for simplicity. “I watched him play on TV. He was an outstanding player.”

She places her little hands just above mine on the fork, helping me cook her hot dog. “I don’t have a mommy either. I asked Maggie if she thinks my mom is looking for me like the bird looks for its momma, but Maggie said that she’s happy that I get to stay with her.”

The level of nerves this little girl is setting off inside me is unsettling and disturbing, and in about two point two, I’m going to freak the hell out. “I think you’re really lucky to have someone who loves you and wants to take care of you.” There, that was a good answer. Calm the hell down.

“Do you have a mommy?”

Shit. Of course, she would ask. I clear my throat to give myself a second to think about how Mr. Rogers would answer this question. “I…my mom wasn’t able to take care of me either.”

Her sweet, innocent face tips up to mine, her smile lighting up her blue eyes. “We’re the same.” My racing heart stutters at the power of her simple words. This little girl and I, we are the same. “We should be friends. Can you come over and play princesses with me sometime? My favorite is Belle. Which princess is your favorite?”

“Liv, you were supposed to sit and wait for me, but I see you found someone to help you.”

My head snaps up so fast I might suffer whiplash. I’ve never been so happy to see another adult in my life. Having it be Maggie is even better. My entire body relaxes, and I’ve suddenly morphed into Gumby.

“This is Shaney. He’s going to come over and play princesses sometime. He used to watch Daddy on TV.” Liv’s tone saddens. “He doesn’t have a mommy either.”

“Really.” Maggie’s eyes meet mine over Liv’s head. “Sounds like you two had quite the conversation. I never pictured you as a princess kind of guy.”

I shrug, trying to play it so damn cool and hoping I didn’t say anything I shouldn’t have. “You should never judge a book by its cover.” That earns me the softest smile.

“Maggie reads to me every night,” Liv says. “What’s your favorite book? Garrett reads books about yucky doctor stuff. I’m not old enough for those, but I don’t think I’d like them anyway.” Her little nose scrunches.

“Treasure Island is my favorite.”

Maggie raises an eyebrow as if she’s surprised I can read, and I feel like I’m back on solid ground.

“I don’t have that book. Maybe you could read it to me. Is it a book for kids?”

Maggie finally jumps in and saves me from the little interrogator. “Liv, it looks like your hotdog is done. Why don’t you leave BunBun here with me so you don’t spill your food? Your drink is at the table, and Cole is helping Teddy and Garrett, so they’ll be there in a minute.”

“Ok, but only if Teddy doesn’t put hot sauce on my food.” I help her put her hotdog on her bun, and she picks up her plate. “Will you come to sit next to me?” She looks up at me with those big blue eyes that match her sister’s, and I wonder if she ever gets told no.

Maggie grabs the stuffed bunny and points Liv toward the picnic table. “Teddy doesn’t have access to hot sauce, so I think you’ll be ok.” Liv sets off with her plate, and Maggie’s gaze returns to me. “Teddy mixed hot sauce with the ketchup last night, and I’m pretty sure no one will ever trust it at our house again.” She takes a seat and crosses her legs. “So, Shaney,” she smiles. “Thanks for helping her. I’m sure she told you more about all the things you never wanted to know.”

“Well, at least now I have a friend I can call when I want to play princesses.”

She laughs. “I’d like to see that.”

I study her for just a second but pull my eyes away before it gets awkward. “How are you? I should’ve texted you. I’m sorry.”