Page 37 of Filthy Little Midlife Fling

Remy shakes his head and fastens his pants and belt. “Never mind.” He hesitates for a second, then faces me and plants a kiss on my forehead. “Thanks for locking up,” he says, pressing the keys into my palm, and then he swipes his thumb over my jaw, drops his hand, and leaves.

A thin sheen of sweat covers my skin, and it proves too difficult to get my sports bra back on. Instead, I pull on my tee and gather my hair into a bun on top of my head. I let out a deep breath. The sound of Remy’s truck’s engine fades, and I’m alone.

As my heartbeat slows, I spin around the room and stare at the spot on the desk where I just orgasmed hard enough to forget my own name.

When silence reigns around me and my heartbeat has returned to its normal cadence, only one question remains:

What the hell have I done?

THIRTEEN

REMY

By the time Danny is picked up and fed, my blood has cooled to a normal temperature. Thinking rationally, I realize I’ve made a mistake.

Being late to pick my nephew up from camp is the reminder I need about my priorities. Danny has to come first, always. What kind of parent am I to indulge in my desires when my kid needs me? I made a promise to my sister’s memory to always put him first.

Today, I failed.

As Danny and I put a movie on and settle on the couch, I scrub my face and try to forget the sight of Audrey splayed on my desk like dessert. So she’s beautiful and kind and intelligent. So what? I’ve been with plenty of women who have been beautiful and kind and intelligent, and I never let it get in the way of taking care of my kid.

She’s no different.

But no other woman has ever taken the time to bring me soup and brownies when my kid was sick. No other woman has listened to my history with my ex without judgment or pity. No other woman has made me feel like maybe there’s something I’ve been missing all these years when I convinced myself I was better off alone.

Danny falls asleep halfway through the movie, so I turn it off and bring him upstairs to his room. I tuck him into his bed and brush his hair off his forehead, seeing my sister’s face in his features.

I love this kid in a way I’ve never loved any other person. How can I even consider putting a woman above that, when my history with women has proven that they won’t be there when things get tough?

I’m not angry at my ex-wife for leaving—not anymore, at least—but I’m not going to put Danny in a position to be rejected again.

Frustrated, I head downstairs and out through the back door. My yard is bursting with vibrant green life, with flowers blooming in pots along the edges of the deck and bright green leaves shivering on the trees. Along the side of the fence that lines the border between my property and Audrey’s, my vegetable garden grows. I built raised planters two years ago and have spent countless hours tending to these plants. I’ve got tomatoes, herbs, chili peppers, and lettuce. I’ve got cucumbers and peas, and a few strawberry plants in a patch of soil near the back fence.

Inspecting the plants, I notice the peas are nearly ready to harvest and the strawberries will soon be ripe. I pull weeds and frown at the leaves of my tomato plant that seem to have been eaten by some sort of bug. As the minutes pass, the solitude and peace of the garden begins to work its magic, and I finally feel grounded again.

“Hey, neighbor,” a sweet, tantalizing voice says from the gate on the side of my house. Looking up, I see Audrey standing just outside with the keys to the garage dangling from her finger. “Got your keys.”

“Come in,” I hear myself say, even though I know I should stay away from her. My attraction to her is what led to leaving Danny waiting for half an hour. Spending more time with her will only lead to trouble.

Audrey unlatches the gate and steps through, and all my valiant thoughts run out of my head like sand through a sieve. She’s wearing that blue dress again, except this time she has a cream cardigan thrown over her shoulders. Her feet are clad in strappy white sandals with those solid cork-like bottoms I’ve always thought look weird, but I can’t deny they make her legs look delectable. The hem of her dress flutters above her knees, and she gives me a sunny smile.

Suddenly, everything’s a little bit better.

I wish it wasn’t. I wish her presence didn’t make the air taste noticeably sweeter. I wish I wasn’t wondering if her panties were lacy and red.

“Wow,” she says, looking around the backyard with wide eyes. “You’re really into gardening.”

I hum. “Well, you know, ‘As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.’”

Her laughter is like a balm, and I forget why I wanted to end things between us. “Goodfellas,” she says. “Great movie.”

Up until this moment, I hadn’t realized I wanted Audrey to like the same movies I do. Oddly happy, I reply, “One of the best.”

“I saw some plants in your yard from my upstairs window, but this is amazing, Remy. It’s like a world-class botanical garden back here.”

I take in the plants, the flowers, the vegetables, the small greenhouse I built in the back corner of the lot. “It’s been a labor of love,” I admit.

“You did all this?”

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