Page 4 of Step Puck

Now she’s quiet and withdrawn into herself. Is she still mad? It wasn’t that big a deal to me and Gavin ended up paying for the whole thing anyway.

“Um, Billy.”

“Yeah?” I’m busy mulling over anything I said that could be misconstrued as something offensive. I send a quick glance her way, she’s gazing out the window ignoring me it looks like. I’m not usually as unsure and nervous as I am now. Not sure if she felt the same way I did when our hands touched earlier, maybe that’s the thing, she had the same reaction.

“The house is going to look a little different. I just didn’t want you to be too surprised that’s all.” She’s still looking out the window, none of her attention on me at all. I’m not full of myself but It’s weird. Her not fawning over me like most of the women do.

“How different? Why would you say this? Is something wrong?”

“She hasn’t kept it up. I do my best with my pay but it’s not really enough.”

I’m confused, I know my dad left her the house and plenty of money to live on. “I don’t understand, Lor.”

She doesn’t say anything else for the rest of the ride, only continues staring out the window, her contemplation of the scenery disturbing to me. I’m watching her so much when the driver stops, I don’t notice right away. “We’ve arrived.”

I glance out my side window and see what she means. The place is a dump. The lawn is scrawny weeds trying to survive in the heat without water. The porch has rails missing and it sags in places, it needs a couple coats of paint including the whole house. When my father was alive this was a showplace in the whole neighborhood.

“Lorelei, what…?”

“I know. I know. It’s just.” She shakes her head and finally looks at me. Tears brim at the corners of her eyes and she sniffs, not allowing herself to appear weak, “she’s not the same woman is all. I’ve tried to help her, I really have but she won’t let anyone. I just wanted to let you know before you see her.”

“What do you mean? Different how?” Dena had always been a good-looking woman. Kept herself up. “What’s changed?”

She sighs, opens her mouth, “look I need to go. I need to pick up more fares.” The driver interrupts her.

“Here, this should cover it.” I shove a wad of bills over to him for the tip and he shuts his mouth after he counts the bills.

“She drinks. A lot. Goes to bars and…well…you know. Look, let’s not talk about this here. Let’s go.” She slips a glance at the driver and waves her hand for me to move. I do as she wants because I want to know what she’s talking about.

I get out first, turn and hold my hand out because she’s a lady no matter what she thinks. She glares at my hand, giving a tiny grunt making me fight a smile but she takes it anyway, letting me help her out of the car. She snatches her hand back as fast as she can and turning to the house I stand and set my fists on my hips. She’s right, it’s a dump now. It’s only been two years since my dad died. I can’t believe this has happened so fast.

Following Lor to the front door she opens it and Dena is right there. She sees me and snarls drunkenly, “wha…wha are ya doin here. Get…get out now.”

4

BILLY

Dena has changed beyond my imagining. She’s a sloppy drunk. Her hair is a rat’s nest, wild all about her face, now lined and older than her years. I remember her being always made up perfectly. Nails and toes always professionally done; hair always styled. She was always perfect and always tried to make Lorelei like her. A Stepford wife-to-be. It never worked, she was never like that, she was a tomboy through and through. A free spirit.

“Dena, hi.” I have nothing else to say because I can say nothing good. I’m stumped.

“Go.” Dena thrusts her hand out to push me away losing her balance in her drunkenness and stumbles against the doorframe, her hand slaps against the wall with a light thump, “I need a drink.”

“Momma, stop. You don’t need anything else to drink. You’ve had enough.” I can hear the thickness of tears in her voice, her sorrow at what her mother has become. I shake my head unable to come up with anything to think or say.

“Mom…”

“No, I’m not.” She takes a step back away from me and stumbles backward windmilling her arms and almost falls if I hadn’t reached out and grabbed her. Dena snarls at me, spit flies out of her mouth, her eyes hurtle about the front room, fear and paranoia clutches at her face. “Not done yet.”

“Momma, why don’t you go lie down. I’ll help you.” Lorelei reaches out to lay her hand on her shoulder, Dena throws her hands out to push her daughter away. Instead, she slaps her across the face, whether intentional or not I grab her and push her away.

“Lor, are you all right? Are you hurt?”

Her palm is against her cheek, tears tremble, making her eyes shine like diamonds in the light in the front room, a sob forces its way through her throat. “Momma.”

“Dena, why would you hit her like that?” I push her away, I hear the thuds of her shoes, not caring what happens to her now, all I care about is whether Lorelei is okay. I grab and clutch at Lor’s arms, staring down at her, my eyes tracing each tiny part of her face. “Are you okay? Tell me.”

“I…I’m fine.” She stumbles over her words, her face slack in shock, one hand still on her cheek, the other on her throat. “Momma, how could you?” Her voice is tiny, a lost little girl again, heartbroken and miserable at what her mother did to her.

---