Page 2 of Where We Belong

I stare at the phone for several minutes—maybe hours—reading the same five letters. I don’t understand them. What is he sorry for?

Not answering my calls? Shattering my heart to pieces? Does it even matter anymore?

He’s never going to love me, I’m not sure how I can possibly move forward.

Will I ever find someone who will love me enough to make me forget about Ben?

The questions swirl endlessly in my mind, threatening to drown me in despair.

Chapter One

Benedict

Three years later…

The afternoon sun beats down on my brother’s vineyard grounds as a lively children’s party unfolds around me. Bernie’s third birthday celebration is in full swing, with fairies and unicorns brought to life thanks to Piper’s party planning mastery. My daughter squeals joyfully as she chases after her cousins, her purple princess dress flowing.

Yet despite the cheerful scene, melancholy threatens to swallow me whole.

“This is depressing,” I mumble, lifting the beer bottle to my lips in an attempt to drown my frustrations.

Derek, my eldest brother, arches an eyebrow expectantly. When I don’t explain myself, he prods, “Your daughter’s birthday party is depressing?”

“Obviously, I’m not referring to that,” I groan, holding back the urge to snap at him.

Ever since he came back into my life, he’s gone above and beyond to be there for me—and for Bernadette too. When I moved to Paradise Bay he not only helped me, but he bought a vineyard close to my practice, so he can visit too. I mentioned I wanted to have a big party for Bernie, and he and his spouses made it happen.

I’m grateful to the three of them, but right at this moment, I feel like I’m failing at life. Is that even a thing though?

“Then I need you to elaborate more because I’m fucking confused,” he exhales in frustration.

Piper, his wife, steps closer, slipping an arm around my brother’s waist. She glances my way, then at Derek. Her eyes fill with concern. “What’s annoying you, big guy?” She doesn’t wait for him to answer and moves her gaze toward me. “Oh, it’s about you. Are you okay, Ben?”

How does she know I’m the one who worries Derek? I wish I had telepathic powers like her. Well, she might not have them, but Piper knows everything that bugs Derek and their spouse, Finn. Everything.

I nod slowly, my lips pressing together in a thin line as I try to force a smile. It probably looks more like a grimace.

She raises an eyebrow, clearly not believing me for a second.

“I’m fine,” I say, my voice catching in my throat. I drop my gaze, unable to meet her knowing eyes. Guilt and unease churn in my stomach. I don’t want to burden my pregnant sister-in-law with my problems. Are they even problems?

“He thinks this party is depressing,” Derek mutters, a hint of sarcasm lacing his words. “That might be code for you did a shitty job with the decorations.”

I gape at him. Is he fucking kidding me? His comment strikes a nerve. He’s making me look like an ungrateful douche. I’m nothing but grateful for everything he and his spouses do for me and Bernie—including this party.

I force a tight smile to stop Derek’s misplaced irritation. “That’s not it.”

Derek’s gaze sharpens as he continues to probe. “Then what is it, Benedict? Piper hired the best party planner to help her organize this event. There are fairies and unicorns scattered all over our backyard, and Bernie is having a blast with her cousins.”

Maybe I should remind him that the only child related to Bernie is their daughter, Rhea. Everyone else is by proxy. Piper has a big family that has welcomed us since she, Finn, and Derek married. Apparently, Derek, Bernie, and I are a package deal. If it wasn’t for them and the Spearman family—who also came along—I wouldn’t have anyone.

“Don’t antagonize him,” Piper scolds gently, tapping Derek’s chest to emphasize her point. Then she turns her attention back to me, her purple eyes inviting me to open up. “If you want to talk, we’re here for you, Ben.”

But what’s there to talk about? I can’t say anything without sounding like I don’t value what they’ve done for me. Piper organized this whole party and brought her entire family to ensure it wasn’t some sad, empty affair. She even handmade a princess dress for Bernie.

With a helpless sigh, I take another swig of beer and watch the party unfold, wishing I could silence the dark thoughts plaguing my mind. But despite my best efforts and all the joy surrounding me, I just can’t.

Though, my child’s birthday party is a reason to celebrate one of the best things that has happened in my life, it also serves as a painful reminder of how alone I truly feel. I can’t escape the feeling that I’m failing as a father. Also, the one person I longed to have by my side is no longer a part of my life.

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