Page 23 of Where We Belong

“Your text sounded cryptic,” he answers. “That’s why I called. What’s going on, Ben?”

“When did you stop being mad at our father for fucking up his marriage with your mother?” The words burst out impulsively, I should’ve worded it in some other way, but there’s nothing I can do now.

“That’s a loaded question,” he responds after a long silence. It takes several more seconds before he says simply, “Piper.”

Though I adore his wife, I don’t understand what she has to do with this.

“Mmm, I’ll need more than that because saying ‘Piper’ doesn’t help me at all,” I say, unable to mask my confusion.

Derek sighs heavily through the phone. “Meeting her made me want to be better. Learning about her amazing family showed me how my past was poisoning my present and future. So, I got professional help.”

“So that’s how you forgave our father,” I conclude.

“In a way. More like I made peace with what happened between my parents, Mom’s death, and… my past in general.” He goes quiet, the silence heavy between us. “We—Dad and I haven’t spoken in years, and I intend to keep it that way. Why are we talking about this?”

I give him a quick summary of my current situation—the anger, my therapist’s theory about my family origin issues, and my fears.

“So, this therapist thinks it all traces back to your parents’ trainwreck of a marriage?” Derek whistles. “That’s deep and pretty fucked-up—like their lives.”

“Maybe. Or it could be something else,” I say, trying not to sound desperate but failing miserably. “I just need to figure it out so I can fix myself.”

“From what you’re telling me, something triggered your anger around the time you knocked up this woman,” he states.

“Exactly.”

“What else happened? You had a child, but you’re not angry about her. We all can see that you embraced fatherhood and are doing amazing.”

“But what if I start resenting Bernie?” I voice my deepest fear for the second time today.

“Not possible. You’ve changed your whole life for her. If you resented her even a little, you would’ve let her mother raise her.”

At the thought of not having Bernie with me I snap. “She’s mine. I’d give my life for her. I gave up everything and everyone because all I cared about was her happiness and well-being. I want her to feel loved.” Derek goes silent, and that’s when it hits me. I let out a strained chuckle. “Okay yeah, so I do care about my daughter, and I’m not upset with her.”

“Yeah, but you emphasized giving up everyone,” he points out. “Your voice changed. I think you need to explore that more. Is it because you stopped being a surgeon and became a family doctor? You had to leave your cozy apartment and your friends behind.”

“New York wasn’t the best place to raise her,” I automatically say, knowing that opening a practice in Paradise Bay was for the best. I respect the doctors who can juggle their career with a family, but I didn’t want to see if I could be one of them.

“Sure, but specifically, who did you leave behind?” he presses.

“My friends in general. I used to travel a lot—”

“If you’re going to stay in denial, I can’t help you, buddy,” Derek interrupts bluntly.

A flash of rage courses through me. “Don’t fucking call me that.”

“Buddy?” Derek chuckles. “Why is that name getting under your skin so much?”

I clench my jaw. “Cory’s boyfriend. The asshole’s name is Bodhi.”

“Ah, I think we’ve hit on something.” I don’t care much about his taunting tone, but before I can say anything, he adds, “You’ve been pissed off ever since she started dating Bodhi Wainwright. How many times have you asked us to run a background check?”

“The prick’s too old for her. And probably married,” I spit out.

“Finn and Piper are over a decade younger than me. Do you judge me?” Derek counters.

“No, it’s different for you.”

“How so?” he challenges.

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