Page 40 of Where We Belong

Ben: What if I bring you coffee and a pastry? I’ll drop by the coffee shop and ask Rita for your usual.

Cory: Remember we said Bernie won’t be involved in this experiment.

Ben: I’ll take her to school before I come to visit you.

Cory: How’s she doing there?

Ben: Everyone adores her, and she has a couple of friends.

Cory: I miss her.

Ben: She misses you too. Sorry for fucking up royally.

Cory: I’m not sure how to follow that. I adore her and you…

Ben: And I didn’t want her to get the wrong idea because what if you wouldn’t love her the same way? Her mother rejected her.

Cory: I would never do that to Bernie.

Ben: Yes, but what if you didn’t want me the way I wanted you? What if you decided to date me for a month and then dump us because I’m not what you need?

Cory: You know what you should have done?

Ben: Nope.

Cory: Figure out your shit right after she was born.

Ben: I was too busy trying to survive with a newborn, remember? That woman just dumped her on me, and I had to figure out everything within a week.

Cory: Has her mother ever contacted you?

Ben: Nope, and that’s totally fine. She gave up her parental rights to continue having a happy life with her husband’s money.

Cory: Bernie doesn’t need her. She has a great father who obviously has a lot of issues, even when he seems to have his shit together.

Ben: Fake it until they believe it. :wink: emoji

Ben: As much as I would love to keep chatting with you, the video of Baby Einstein is over, and it’s time for our morning routine.

Cory: Have fun.

Chapter Twenty-One

Benedict

We’re almost out the door when Bernie’s big green eyes lock with mine. “Whes Co-ee?” she asks, her little voice wavering and her lip quivering.

A twist of pain spirals in my chest, the weight of guilt pressing against my ribs. Both my girls are hurting, and it’s all because of me and my fucking fear. Fear of commitment, of intimacy, of truly living. No matter how many times I’ve jumped off bridges or out of planes, I’ve never been brave enough to take the ultimate leap—to open myself to love. Those thrills were just adrenaline, a distraction from what was missing.

I avoided the terror of embracing raw emotions, and what did I gain? Nothing. I could lose one of the most important people in my life if I’m not careful.

“I want Co-ee,” Bernie insists, her lip protruding in an adorable pout that tugs at my soul.

“She’s working hard on a special project, pumpkin. She’ll be back to us soon,” I whisper, pressing a gentle kiss to her upturned nose, trying to reassure her, or trying to reassure myself, that I can bring her back home and this time it will be for good—forever.

“Tomoow?” Hope glimmers in her eyes.

Every fiber of my being wishes I could give her a firm yes, and even help her make a cute countdown calendar for Cory’s return. After my conversations with Cory, I’m determined to make things right with her and show her how much I love her. However, I don’t know how long it’ll take me to convince her that I can be the man she needs. I probably have to make sure I become him before making any false promises.

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