Page 64 of Always Eros

“Long blond hair, crystal blue eyes, and an aura that’s just…” I sigh. “Calming. I felt so safe with him.”

“Tell me more.”

“He gave me his number and told me I could call if I wanted to. At first, I thought I probably shouldn’t be distracted, you know?”

Micah nods. “Yeah.”

“But I couldn’t stop thinking about him. So I called and he took me out last night.” I rub the back of my neck as my body heats again. “I really like him, but, um, he told me something about himself that’s hard to accept, I guess. Something I don’t know how or if I can get over.”

“Like what? What could be so bad?”

“I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone, but just imagine something really bad and kind of scary. What would you do?”

“Hmm, something bad and scary. Like a demon?”

Close enough. “Okay, let’s go with that. Let’s say he’s a demon in human form.”

Micah twists his lips in thought. “I’d probably ask myself if he’s really bad and scary, because Nightsky told me that’s what demons are. Maybe it’s not true. A lot of stuff they told us isn’t true.”

“Right.” I nod. “I considered that. What if it is true though? What would you do then?”

“Honestly?” His face lights up. “I’d be excited.”

“Excited?”

“Yeah. A real live demon? What could be cooler?”

“But Micah, what if he’s dangerous?”

Micah shrugs. “What if he’s not? Or what if he’s only dangerous when he has to be? Does your demon like you back?”

“He’s not really a demon, for the record, but yeah, he likes me back. A lot, I think.”

“Ooh, I’m jealous.” Micah leans in. “Do you think he would hurt you?”

“No. Not on purpose, but what if he had to do something bad and I was just caught in the middle?”

Micah raises one of his eyebrows. “Are you just making up things that might happen? I mean, what if we went to the store and got hit by a bus? What if a plane falls out of the sky right now and lands where we’re sitting? What if we never left Nightsky? ‘What if’ isn’t a good game to play.”

Chuckling softly, I nod. “Point taken.”

“Remember what they told us in group. We’re going to experience so many new and bewildering things. We have to forget everything we were taught. All we have is how we feel. If this man makes you feel good, maybe that’s enough.” He pats my knee. “Honestly, I think you’re lucky. Eventually, we’ll all leave this place and venture out into the real world. We’ll meet lots of new people, and hopefully some of them will be romantic partners. You already found one. He could help you so much.”

“Yeah, I guess I am lucky.” I study his face for a second. “Did you have… urges? Urges you found hard to ignore?”

Micah’s face falls as he twists around and lifts the back of his shirt, revealing several scars on his back.

“I was caught once,” he says softly. “An older man seduced me, but I was punished for it.” He drops his shirt and turns to face me again. “By him. I was made the seducer. I had three months on my knees in solitary.”

I gasp. “I only heard rumors about solitary.”

Micah nods. “It’s real. When he confessed that we had been together for months, the punishment was abstinence. They felt if I couldn’t see him or hear him, my fascination would fade. So yes, I had urges, but I didn’t initiate it. I swear.”

“I believe you.” I squeeze his wrist. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

He smiles again, erasing the melancholy. “It’s okay. I made it through, and since coming here, I’ve learned that I didn’t do anything wrong. The disciple did.”

“He was a disciple?”

---