Page 59 of Always Eros

“Justice.” I take his hand in mine, but he yanks it away, holding it to his chest. “I knew I had to tell you when we grew closer, and once I found out what’s really happening at Nightsky. I planned to tell you tonight. Why do you think I haven’t made love to you yet? I want you more than anything, but I refused to take such a gift without disclosing myself to you.”

He shakes his head, trying not to believe me. “I’m scared of you.”

His admission tears the last bit of hope I had to shreds. I rise from the bed to put space between us. “It devastates me to hear such words, but I cannot force you to understand me. I will call a ride for you.”

I leave the room before he can say anything else, afraid of my own breaking willpower. The urge to lock him away until he sees me as he did before is strong, threatening to ruin my attempts to remove his fear. If he saw what I am, what I’m capable of…

A moment later, I sense his presence in the room, but I don’t turn to look, keeping my gaze on the windows. I should have known it would be too good to be true. As my heart crumbles to dust, I realize how much I had hoped Justice was mine to keep. My mate. If I were capable of crying, I’m sure I’d be drowning in tears right now.

“Eros?”

“Yes?”

“Can you look at me?”

“I’d rather not.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

I turn slightly, but can’t bring myself to see his beautiful face. “I didn’t mean to hurt you either, but I am what I am. I cannot change it. Not even for you.”

“It’s just… it’s a lot, Eros. A few days ago I had no idea any of this…”

His broken voice forces me to face him. When I do, my beast stirs within me, desperate to comfort him. Tears streak down his lovely cheeks, and his hair is mussed from his fingers twisting through it.

“I need to think,” he says. “Away from all of this.”

I nod, forcing my feet to stay put. “Fair.”

His expression crumples. “I want to be with you, but… how?”

I could offer options, but I remain silent. I will not beg him to stay. If he did, I would always doubt his commitment. Instead, I pull my phone from my pocket and order a taxi.

“I jinxed it,” he says softly. “When I said just in case tonight. I ruined it.”

“You did no such thing. Besides, it would never work if we weren’t honest with each other. It’s better to know now before…” I stop before I utter words of eternal love. “I will give you the space you need. If you wish to speak to me, you know how to contact me. I would love the opportunity to explain more to you, so much more, but that is up to you. In the meantime, I only ask that you not share what we are with the people you know.”

“I won’t.”

I know I could compel him right now, make him forget it all, and take him back to my bed. I could spend the evening luxuriating in his scent, his flesh, his blood, but I cannot bring myself to abuse his trust, no matter how desperately I don’t want to let him leave.

My phone buzzes and another part of me dies. “Your ride is here. I can walk you downstairs.”

Justice nods, wiping his cheeks. I keep my distance, inhaling his scent in the hopes I will remember it forever if this is the last time I see him.

Once we’re downstairs and outside, he looks at me like he has something to say, but instead he turns and slips into his waiting ride. I watch the taxi until it’s out of sight before walking somberly back to my unit. The most joy I’ve had in centuries is afraid of me.

The world could burn to the ground right now and I wouldn’t give a single fuck.

Chapter Twenty-Two

JUSTICE

The house is thankfully quiet when I enter, but as I walk toward the stairs, I see a light on in the study and head toward it. I peek inside, finding Carina curled up in an armchair, her face buried in a book, a cozy robe wrapped around her like a blanket. She looks up and smiles.

“Did you have a nice night?”

I want to lie and tell her it was great or at least fine, but I can’t bring myself to do it. Instead, I nod with a forced smile on my lips. Carina doesn’t buy it at all, closing her book and tilting her head.

---