Page 21 of Always Eros

“All sex is forbidden?”

“Oh yes, for men unless chosen for fatherhood. Sex for pleasure has ruined our species, made us weak. The only reason I wasn’t punished is because I chose sex with a man, which is less of a penalty than taking a woman.”

“Oh, Justice,” Eros whispers. “I’m so sorry you were led to believe that sex is wrong. It’s not. How could something so beautiful and pleasurable be bad?”

I shrug. “It’s all I was ever told from as soon as I could understand. We had rules about how to wash ourselves, how to avoid lust, but I was deemed too weak to be a disciple. My fate would be the workhouse until I was sent to the Vessel, the place we go at thirty.”

“I see. How do you feel now that you’re away from it and learning that it wasn’t all true?”

“None of it was true.” I stand and pace the small space, stopping to lean against the wall. “Everything I’ve ever been told was a lie, Eros. The Supreme Being is just a man like me. He controlled us just because he could. I don’t even know what’s real anymore.”

Eros stands, approaching me slowly. “You did the right thing by running. I can only imagine how afraid you are, but these people are here to help you, right? You’re safe here?”

I nod. “I’m safe. They told me in a month I can start going outside the house. Like to the store and stuff. I have to learn how to use money and technology and…” I crumble under the weight of being overwhelmed, but Eros catches me under the arms before I hit the floor, gently leading me to the bed.

“What can I do to support you?” he asks.

I gaze up at him, my eyes full of tears. “Why would you want to? You don’t even know me.”

“Why am I here right now? Because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I’m… interested in your progress. I want to get to know you.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” He smiles. “It’s a big world, Justice. There are wondrous things waiting for you to discover. I would love to be a part of your journey in whatever way feels comfortable for you.”

I stare at the beautiful man, still convinced he must be an angel. Surely those exist.

“Are you… I mean, do you date, um…” I shake my head, unable to speak clearly.

“Do I date men? Yes, I do. If you’re wondering if I’m romantically interested in you, I’d be lying if I said no.” He gently touches my cheek. “But I am an exceedingly patient man. I’ll be here if and when you’re ever ready for that, but right now, you just need to get your feet under you again. If all you want is my friendship, that is available too.”

I blink rapidly, allowing the tears to stream down my cheeks. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure. I should go now, but you have my number.”

“Wait.” I grab his arm. “Will you visit me again?”

A fresh smile spreads across his lips. “I would love to.” Eros lifts my hand and kisses the back of it. “Be well, Justice.”

I watch as Eros slips out the window. It takes me a few seconds to move, but when I hurry over and look outside, he’s gone. Like a dream.

I slide my window closed, feeling far more settled than before Eros’s visit. What a mysterious man. I’ll never tell anyone about him. Then I can make sure he’s not just made up like everything else in my life has been. No, Eros is my secret angel.

I climb into bed with a smile on my face and the tension in my chest gone. I indulge in the idea of having Eros in bed with me, pleasuring me. I was never meant to succeed at Nightsky. My libido is too strong. Now all I have to do is unlearn the intense guilt surrounding pleasure, and then maybe, someday, I can be with someone like Eros. That idea alone is enough inspiration to face the challenges ahead.

Chapter Seven

EROS

I’m far more settled now than I was before I saw Justice. I spend the rest of the night lurking on rooftops around the district where we found Hale and Nathan just in case trouble shows up again. Maybe I’ll even find a clue.

A soft thud alerts me to Raphael’s presence. He slinks across the rooftop to join me.

“Find anything?” he asks.

“Nothing. How did your job go?”

“Terrible. He was so scared he had a massive heart attack before I could even bite him. He looked so juicy too.”

---