Page 21 of Strip Bare

"What are you doing?"

"Helping."

"Aw, Lee-Lee sucks so much he has to have his boyfriend show him how to do it," Saylor called and I glared at her as she sucked down what could only be described as a bucket full of soda. While I enjoyed spending time with my family, especially considering I hadn’t seen them for a while, I wished we could have been anywhere but this bowling alley. Everything was sticky, even the floor, and the smell of burgers was making me feel queasy after an hour without any break.

Kit placed his hands on my waist, the warmth from his hands soaking into me before he let them drop. His breath tickled my ear as he leaned in to speak. "Focus on me."

"What?" Did he really think that focusing on him was going to make me less distracted? If anything I was going to suck more with him standing so close, the scent of vanilla and sandalwood aftershave washing over me, fogging my senses.

"The lights, the noise, they're grating on you right now aren't they?"

I hadn't really realized it until he'd said it, but it was true. The whole room felt loud, everything from the flashing lights above the lane that glittered a strange purple to the flatscreens above the benches that called out the scores and played silly little animations that shrilled and thundered just as much as the actual balls knocking down the pins. It made it hard to think, like this room operated on a frequency that scrambled my brain.

“Why does it constantly smell like burgers?” I complained and he chuckled.

"It's just math," Kit said quietly. "Angles and speed. You're good at math right? So just focus on me, let all the sound zero down and then throw the ball." He stood at my side, his words soft and the openness on his face encouraging. I met his eyes and found only comfort, understanding.

I let out a slow breath and did as he said, doing my best to ignore the lights and sounds that seemed overly vivid and focused only on the sound of Kit's breathing next to me as I threw the ball.

"Spare!" The corny game show host's voice on the flatscreens announced and I grinned as I turned to look at Kit and found him watching me, a small smile on his lips. I wanted to kiss him, I realized. More badly than I ever had before. I wasn't stupid, I knew I was probably on the spectrum or ADD or something, but Kit had never judged me or made me feel less-than. He saw me, possibly better than I saw myself.

My mom squealed as she bounded up for her turn and planted a kiss on first my cheek and then Kit's. "Well done, sweetie! A spare! Next time will be a strike, I know it."

I smiled slightly, enjoying seeing her happy. I took her spot on the bench next to my dad in the booth and Kit plopped down next to my sister. They teased each other just like Bryn did whenever she was around Kit, and that was one of the hardest things to know. Kit fit in here, he felt like family, like he was meant to be by my side. If the universe had a plan for me, I had no doubts that he was in it. It wasn't the universe's fault that I'd got greedy and wanted more.

"He's good for you," my dad murmured quietly and I looked up in surprise to find him watching me steadily. "I like how you are with him. You've picked a good one there, son."

"Thanks, Dad," I said quietly, trying not to think about the fact that I hadn't picked anything. I'd stolen Kit, and sooner than I would ever be able to bear I would have to give him up. To pretend like there was never anything more between us than friendship. I wasn't sure if it would kill me more that I'd got to experience this with him, to know that this kind of love, and ease, was out there and I'd never have more of it than this. Or whether never having got this time with him would have been worse. The wondering, the yearning... I was greedy. I wasn't sure I would ever have enough of him.

"Did you guys decide how long you're staying for?" I asked quietly, dreading the answer as he nodded.

"I think we'll take off in a couple days. You know your mom doesn't like to leave the kids for too long."

I did know. My mom worked as a teacher and it was her passion, the same way being a lawyer was mine. My dad had retired after a car accident had made it impossible for him to operate any more.

"Are you keeping yourself busy?"

To my surprise, he smiled. "I'm teaching classes a couple times a week in Tucson."

I blinked. "That's amazing."

"I never thought I'd find anything as fulfilling as surgery, but it turns out I've got the teaching bug just like your mother." I laughed with him and reached for my own soda. "I think your sister may stay for a few days extra. I think she likes it here."

He wasn't wrong, and it was more than just me or her date with Xander. Something about being in Sun City had made her light up in a way I hadn't even noticed had been missing until I saw it again. That probably made me a bad brother, but at least I saw it now.

"I'll look out for her."

"I know," he said, his smile crinkling the corners of his eyes as we watched her. "Looks like I'm up!"

Kit looked at me, a laugh still on his mouth as he listened to whatever my sister was telling him, and the warmth in my chest refused to dissipate.

"Maybe you'll win after all," my mom said breathlessly as she sat down and I nodded without paying too much attention to what she meant, keeping my eyes on Kit.

"Yeah, maybe," I said vaguely as a heat burned in his eyes that had my body feeling like it was a live wire. A kernel of determination flared and I broke our eye contact so I could think a little more clearly. Who said I had to let him go? Maybe if I played my part well enough, we wouldn't be playing a part at all.

I looked out at the lanes as my dad threw his ball and swallowed past the lump in my throat. Was I really going to do this? To fight for him even though I knew I would probably end up with my heart broken even worse than it would be if we'd just gone back to being friends when my family left? My eyes found Kit as one of his hands ruffled his hair. Yeah. Yes. I was going to try and win the heart of my best friend.

I pulled out my phone and shot a quick text off to Kat before I could change my mind.

---