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He snorts, shaking his head. “Of course not, though that would benefit many, but no… Haven’t you heard? They murdered Lucille Lucas in prison.”

I don’t give him a chance to finish speaking before I turn and run out of his study. I ignore their shouts of telling me to stop as I make it to the front door, running to Christian’s car. I have to get to Billie. That’s all I can think about. Fuck the society, and fuck my parents—my girl needs me.

Chapter 39

BILLIE LUCAS

I’mnotevensurewhich emotion I’m feeling anymore at this point. My eyes haven’t blinked in several minutes, burning from the dryness, and my heart doesn’t seem to be in my chest any longer. It’s void—there isn’t anything beating.

They’ve killed my mother. She warned me they would if we talked. I didn’t believe her but I should have. Now she’s gone. And I can’t help but wonder if I’m the reason she’s dead. If I had just been quieter or heeded her warning, maybe she wouldn’t be.

I take a deep breath, staring down at my phone once more, wondering if the society has gotten to my boys, too, because they still haven’t messaged me. Whatever’s left in my chest plummets into my stomach at the horrible thoughts swirling through my mind. I’m going to get a call any second about their deaths, aren’t I?Stop thinking about it!

“Yes, sir,” Dana says into the phone—her boss on the other end. “I’ll make sure they’re all present while I post myself outside. Thank you, sir.”

When she’s off the phone, walking into the living room area to plop down beside me, I don’t move a damn muscle. I don’t know how long I’ve been leaning forward with my arm dangling over the edge, my fingers feeling like a million needles are stabbing them.

“Your mother’s funeral has been arranged for tomorrow morning. I’ve tried to call both Christian and Zeke multiple times with no success, and nothing on the scanners has come through to my boss about them.” She places her hand on my shoulder like she’s trying to be sympathetic, but I feel nothing. “They’re just fine, Billie.”

The way she says those last words sends a small tingle of crippling fear through my existence. She doesn’t believe them. Not even a little. I need a small sliver of hope, something to stop me from going into the bathroom and slitting my fucking throat wide open with the razor I found under the sink the other night. I need her to lie to me, goddamn it.

She already has, though, hasn’t she?They’re just fine, Billie.

And the sliver of hope I crave comes in the form of the front door—the only door in and out of here—creaking open. It sounds like the loudest noise in the entire universe. My eardrums pound when I hear it. My heart does a somersault in its chest cavity, reminding me of its existence, as I launch up from the couch.

I never thought Zeke could be more handsome, but seeing his gloriously perfect face stepping through the threshold sends me into outer space. My feet move before my brain can tell them to, tripping over Dana as I shove her out of the way.

Tears well in my eyes, taking away the dryness as I sob out. Zeke runs to me, and what feels like a slow motion climatic scene, we meet each other halfway. And when he wraps me in his strong, protective arms, I fucking explode. My sobs bounce off the walls while I climb him like a tree, wrapping my legs around his waist.

“Shh, baby, I’ve got you. I’ve always fucking got you,” he rasps into my hair, holding me so tight my inhales are restricted. But I don’t care. I need to feel something again—pain, love, hatred, but please, something more than this suffocating poignancy.

“She’s… My mom—”

“I know, baby girl, I know. And I’m so sorry.”

His hold tightens as his face burrows deeper into my neck.

“It hurts so fucking bad,” I sob out, unable to hold back the emotions I’ve been internally suffering with since I received the devastating news.

Zeke moves, carrying me with him because I’m not letting go of him tonight. And when Christian gets here, he’ll be stuck with us, too. I need my boys. I need their strength and protection.

When I think he’s taking me to the couch, I realize he’s actually heading to the bathroom. I should tell him I’ve changed my mind about slitting my throat, though he doesn’t know about those thoughts. I’m losing my damn mind. What day is it even?!

Kicking the door shut behind him, he keeps hold of me and turns on the faucet. After he finds the right temperature, he shoves the rubber cork into the drain and lets it fill up. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and flinch. What the hell happened to me?

My hair looks like it’s been through the ringer—matted and looking like the perfect nest for a sparrow and her babies. And where did all the dirt come from on my face? I guess we are staying in an actual cave right now, and I have been crying a lot. But I can’t find it in myself to care right now. Nothing matters.

He sets me on the edge of the sink and leans back, using his thumbs to wipe below my eyes. I love when he babies me. Zeke might be the more tender one out of the two, but he’s also the strongest, most confident person I’ve ever met.

“I’m going to put you in a bath now, okay?” he asks, moving a thumb over my lips.

I shake my head. “No. I can’t be alone. I don’t want—”

“Shh, baby, I’m getting in with you.”

He yanks his shirt over his head, not saying a word. Then he goes for his jeans, undressing in front of me as we never break eye contact. When he reaches for my clothes next, I don’t fight him, allowing him to remove every piece of clothing.

Grabbing each side of my face, he tilts my head back so he can look down at me. “So perfect,” he whispers.

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