She’s trying to get under my skin again, and even though it’s slightly working, her hate-filled words won’t affect me in the least. My boys might explore their feelings for each other right now, but they’d never leave me. In fact, I’d bet my life on it.
“Now shut the fuck up and let me think,” I snap, moving away from the table to pace again.
When my phone finally rings, I’m frenzied, almost dropping it as I fumble to see who’s calling. But a frown mars my face the second I see an unrecognizable number on the screen. My heart drops when I think the absolute worst—they’ve been in a car accident. One or both are seriously injured ordead! Oh my God!
“H-hello?!” I answer in a frantic voice, but I’m greeted by silence. “Hello?!”
“Hello, may I speak with Ms. Billie Lucas, please?” a soft woman’s voice comes through, my heart still pounding, as I have no idea who this could be or what she might have to say.
“Yes, that’s me. Who is this?”
Dana storms over to me, trying to lean in to listen, but I shove her away. Who the hell does she think she is?
“My name is Doris Mueller, and I’m calling from the Wright County Correctional Facility.”
I immediately feel my shoulders relax, my breathing coming to a steady rhythm when I realize it’s just my mom calling through. It’s strange that a woman is calling me first, though. When my mom called last time, it was an automated system I had to accept. Strange.
“I regret to inform you that your mother Lucille Lucas was found deceased in her cell this morning and—”
Everything stops. A rush of adrenaline pounds through my entire being, causing a high pitch whistle to erupt in my ears, my sweat turning cold. My mom is dead. They found herdeceasedin her cell this morning? I just saw her! I just spoke to her. She can’t be dead.
“This is a joke, right?” I ask instead, turning my gaze to Dana who’s watching me intently, her brows pinched together.
“Ma’am, we’re incredibly sorry for your loss. I would never joke about something so serious. I’m finishing the paperwork here and—”
I whip my gaze back up to Dana and put the phone on speaker, thinking it’s time she’s in on this call. The lady’s voice fills the bunker as she continues.
“They have released her remains to the Valley Hospital for an autopsy under the guidance of Patrick Lucas.”
“What?!” I shriek, but Dana raises her finger to her mouth, shushing me.
“We have a small box of things they brought her in with upon her incarceration. Would you like us to ship them to you at your cost? Or do you—”
“I’ll come pick it up,” I instruct, cutting her off. “Thank you.”
My hands are shaking, tears welling in my eyes when I end the call and drop my phone at my side. I glance up at Dana, whose usual pouty face is soft and full of remorse.
“Billie, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t,” I tell her. “I don’t want your apology. I want fucking answers, and I don’t want my uncle anywhere near her remains. Make some calls, Dana.”
Turning, I march for the bathroom to be alone for a moment. I may have just found out my mother died behind bars, but I don’t need Dana seeing my weakness right now. The cunt will use it against me.
As soon as I’m alone, I sit on the lid of the toilet and let the waterworks come. My shoulders shake as I sob out, the pain in my chest almost suffocating. My mom is dead! How is this possible?! Aren’t they supposed to watch her in prison? This stinks of the society—they heard us talking at the visitation, didn’t they? She said this would happen. Oh my God, did I get my mother killed?
My thumb hovers over the last call I made—to Zeke—and I try to call him again. It rings and rings and rings, going to voicemail when he doesn’t pick up again.
“Hey, it’s Zeke—you know what to do.”
After the beep, I muster up the only strength I have left and say on a sob, “Z, I need you…”
When I hang up, I drop the phone on the floor at my feet and bury my face in my hands. My weeping sobs fill the small bathroom as my heart breaks. I don’t even know where to go from here. My mother may have lied to me all these years, hiding truths from me I deserved to know, but I didn’t hate her. In fact, I don’t know what I’m going to do without her.
Heartbroken and without my boys, I drop to the bathroom floor and curl up on the bath rug in front of the tub. Hugging my knees to my chest, I cry myself into a dazed stupor, just waiting for the despair to swallow me whole.
Chapter 38
ZEKE LUNGREN