Page 93 of Powerless

One by one, everyone disappears, leaving me to watch the mound of dirt on top of the wooden box grow. I can’t bear to tear my eyes away. “My love,” I whisper.

I can’t do this. I can’t be without my Kathryn. I don’t know how, and I refuse to learn.

When everyone is gone and the only people left are the Secret Service agents and me, I crouch by the hole.

“Baby,” I whisper. “I’ve loved you for so long that I don’t know how to stop.” My chin quivers and my eyes water. “I don’t want to do this without you.” I close my eyes and lower my chin. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry I was powerless and couldn’t help you.” I cover my head with my hands and burst into tears. “I’m sorry.” The tightness in my chest is merciless. All my despair is seeping uncontrollably out of my body. “I’m sorry.” I fist my hand through my hair as I finally crumble.

“I’ve got you,” Liam says through his own heavy tears. His arms engulf me as I completely lose it.

“She’s gone,” I say through the heavy tears. “She’s fucking gone.”

“I’ve got you, Bennett. I’ve got you,” he repeats.

My head is pounding while my throat thickens with all the things I never got to say to my wife. “I don’t know if I can do this without her.”

“We’ll get through it.”

I know life is supposed to go on.

But how?

11

BENNETT

THIRTEEN MONTHS LATER

“What a day,” I say to Liam. “Wanna come up for dinner?”

“I have no prior engagements, so hell, yeah, I do. Give me ten and I’ll be back.”

I acknowledge his request with a nod. “Jamie!” I call.

He’s in my office within seconds. “Can I help you, Mr. President?”

“I’m retiring for the evening. You need to also. You have exams next week.” I pointedly look to him.

“Nothing gets past you, sir,” Jamie says with a grin.

I stop packing my desk and look over to Jamie. “Tomorrow’s Friday. Don’t come in to work.”

“What? Why?”

“Because you need to study.”

“I’m doing fine, sir. I can do this.”

“I know you can, but I’m telling you, if I see you here tomorrow, I won’t be happy.”

A small snicker escapes him. “Yes, sir.” He steps back toward the door. “Have a good night.”

“You too.” Jamie exits my office and I finish packing. By the time I’m done, Liam still hasn’t returned. I walk over to the door that leads to Esther and Jamie’s office. Opening it I find Jamie has already left. Esther’s packing her things for the evening.

She stops what she’s doing and looks over at me. “Mr. President, is there anything I can do for you?”

“No, I was coming to tell you I’m heading up to the residence.”

“Have a good night, sir.”

---