Page 31 of Snuggle Bug

Calloway rams BJ’s ribs with his elbow. "You’re coming onto him again."

Bryce clears his throat, taking control of the situation. "All right, everyone. We’re going to ignore the yapping across the circle from me, and focus on our meeting. Let’s give ourselves a round of applause. If we can’t clap for ourselves, we can’t expect anyone else to."

Each member of the circle smiles and claps for themselves. Some Littles have a tough time with this, and they stare in confusion at their hands at first, before bringing them together.

One Little bursts into tears. "I forgot to clap for myself every single day this week. No wonder I was such a mess."

Another Little places his hand on the first one’s shoulder. "There, there."

BJ claps extra loud. "I never forget to clap for myself. I’m awesome."

Calloway claps loudly, too. "Me, too!"

I roll my eyes, clapping softly to balance out my boy and his friend’s loud clapping. "Toot your own horns later, boys."

"You said toot," Calloway whispers, grinning. "Like a zoomer, Daddy. Where’s Waxley when you need him?"

Bryce jots down a few things on his clipboard. "Let’s go around the circle and introduce ourselves. We have two new members with us tonight—Calloway and his Daddy, Greyson."

I smile. "Oh, I’m not here to discuss my past. I’m accompanying Calloway."

Calloway issues me a look. "I’m sure you have things you could talk about, Daddy. Don't act like I’m the only one in need of a counseling sesh."

I bite my lower lip. "I guess I hadn’t considered that. Well, if the time comes to share, I’ll open up with the group."

Bryce issues me a supportive nod. "That’s the spirit. It’s not only Littles who benefit from group talk sessions. Many times, Daddies have also gone through things that they need to get out in the open. For instance, when a friend of mine was a boy, he accidentally caught his older brother having sex with one of the seasonal employees on his farm in a tractor. It caught him so off-guard and he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He felt bad for his brother, because at the time, he thought he was being assaulted. It wasn’t until he was in his mid-twenties that his brother came out of the closet and told everyone he was gay. Everything fell into place, and my friend realized that when his older brother was bottoming, he was receiving prostate pleasure. However, my friend grew up thinking that his older brother had been a victim. He entered the Daddy lifestyle to learn how to treat boys right and never hurt someone like his older brother had been hurt. As it turned out, he was totally mistaken, but the trauma he perceived was real. Talking about it helped."

BJ beams at Bryce. "That’s a wonderful story. I’m glad everything worked out for your friend."

Bryce rolls his eyes. "Anyone besides BJ is welcome to start us off."

Each boy, Little, Daddy, and brat in the circle introduces themselves. They tell us their names, ages, how they came into the lifestyle, and what they’re looking for in a partner. This isn’t a dating event, but sometimes the trauma in your past influences who you’re attracted to, which is why it’s important to know.

Some Littles share about the spankings they received when they were growing up. They break down while talking about it, and confess that they liked it, even though they felt ashamed. They say that they don't want to be spanked anymore because it takes them right back to the helpless boys they were when someone in their life first put their hands on them.

I can’t help but nod in solidarity. What a traumatic event.

I’m glad they’re working through these painful emotions and not keeping them bottled up.

It reminds me of a compendium of psychological case studies I read once called Psychopathia Sexualis by Richard von Krafft-Ebing. As Freud later put it, defining moments of your life rarely leave. They take on new forms and continue to vibrate well into adulthood.

Calloway sucks in a breath. "I guess it’s my turn."

I turn to Calloway, then smile as I hold his hand tight. "Go for it, baby boy. Daddy’s here."

"Growing up, my father had panic disorder. He’d scream so loud that I couldn’t help but break down in fear. Once in a while, while I was getting ready for school, he'd run up to the bathroom door where I was brushing my teeth and slam it so hard that I’d drop my toothbrush and pee my pants. I’d feel it coming out of me, trickling down my legs, and I’d burst into tears. I had to get into the bathtub, pull off my messy clothes, and spray myself with the shower nozzle before sneaking out after my father had left for work and getting into new clothes. This left a big mark on me, and I think it’s the reason why I like some things that I like today."

BJ makes a sad face. "I had no idea you went through that."

Calloway sniffles. A tear trickles out of his left eye, and drips onto Constable Charlie’s nose. "Yeah. It was pretty awful." He turns up and smiles gratefully at me. "For the past year, I’ve been wetting myself at the kitchen table, sometimes without a diaper, and my Daddy Greyson always cleans up after me. He doesn’t judge me. He tells me that I matter, that he values me, and that there’s nothing wrong with doing what I do. He makes me feel so safe, like the scaries I felt as a boy never occurred."

Bryce puts his hand on his heart. "That’s wonderful, Calloway."

BJ scoots closer to Calloway. He also has tears in his eyes. "You never told me that you liked to wet."

Calloway closes his eyes, his cheeks pink. He drags in a deep breath, then curls his fingers around Constable Charlie. "It makes me feel a little shy."

BJ whispers something in Calloway’s ear. It’s so quiet that I don't hear it. When the two boys wrap their arms around each other, I have a feeling I know what it was. BJ must like what Calloway likes too.

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