Page 6 of Green Light

I hadn’t told Silas what was going on with…everything. It felt like a lot to dump on someone I’d only known for a few weeks. But I was sure he’d understand.

Week two of chemo was always the worst for Mum. Normally, Dad tried to be at home, but August was always tricky. Everyone and their nan needed time off during the summer holidays.

So, with Mum in bed, looking after my siblings was down to me.

“Stop hitting her with that.” I snatched the wooden spoon out of Louis’s hand before he could wallop Mia again.

Predictably, Louis’s lip wobbled before he launched himself into a full tantrum. Was I this much work at six?

Mia, apparently feeling left out, began to wail too. Being four, she liked to copy everything Louis did.

Right now, I couldn’t help but wish that what Louis was doing wasbehaving.

Their wails increased to an almost deafening level. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, the baby monitor crackled with a tinny cry.

“Great, you’ve woken Ruby,” I muttered. “Stay here and don’t move.”

Taking the stairs two at a time, I raced to my parents’ room. I needed to grab Ruby before she woke Mum.

My nine-month-old sister was sitting in her cot. As soon as I entered, her hands went up, making grabby motions, and she began to babble in earnest.

“Shh, Rubes,” I whispered, smiling as I reached for her. “Come on, let’s get your bottle.”

I paused to check on Mum. Fortunately, her fever seemed to have abated and she was sleeping peacefully. She probably needed more water, though, and something to eat. Trying to find something she could face eating was the challenge. Most foods seemed to make her nauseous these days.

I made a mental list as I raced back down the stairs, Ruby bouncing on my hip. Bottle first, settle the others, then get Mum water.

Ruby squealed and giggled as she clung to me, enjoying the journey down the stairs. Mum had been diagnosed with breast cancer during her pregnancy. Everything had happened so fast after her birth. On weekends and school holidays, I took over Ruby’s night feedings from Dad so he could get some much-needed sleep.

Because of that, Ruby had a special place in my heart. Her little smiling face was enough to make my day a bit easier.

I skidded into the kitchen and bit my lip to stop several curses from spilling out. Right now, the same couldn’t be said for my other siblings.

I loved them, but Jesus. They liked to test me.

“Where did you find the flour?” I asked as I strapped Ruby into her highchair. “And why did you tip it over Mia’s head?”

“We’re playing hairdressers,” Louis said, looking up at me with big eyes. “Was we not supposed to?”

“Poo, poo, poo,” Mia chanted, clapping her hands together, sending small clouds of flour floating through the air.

I grabbed the now nearly empty bag of flour before eyeing Mia warily. “Are you saying poo as in shampoo…or have you done a poo in your knickers?”

Mia grinned up at me. “Poo.”

I groaned inwardly, rearranging my to-do list. Hopefully, she hadn’t pooed in her underwear, but with the way this morning was going, that was highly likely.

Ruby decided that was the moment she was dying from hunger. She might be the most easygoing of the four of us, but she got hangry in the most spectacular ways. Her little fists began to thud on the highchair tray, snot, dribble, and tears mixing on her face.

“Okay, Rubes, I’m on it.” I filled the kettle with water, trying to hold myself together. “Just give me two minutes, sweetie.”

“Snow angels!” Mia yelled, launching herself into the flour on the floor and swishing her limbs.

“Mia, stop doing that. And where’s Louis?” I grabbed one of Ruby’s bottles from the steriliser and shovelled formula into it. “Louis? Where have you gone?”

A headache pounded at the back of my head as Ruby’s screams got louder.

Just then, the doorbell rang.

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