“Yes, you did,” he whispered. “You didn’t want to do those things on stage with me, did you?”
The words of denial curled on my tongue and withered to ash. No, I’d never wanted Silas touching me there. In private, where it meant something…yes.
But never under the scrutiny of thousands, knowing it didn’t mean a thing.
Silas covered his mouth in horror. “Christ, Kai. Why didn’t you eversayanything?”
I was frozen. His legs brushed mine on either side, but I couldn’t move away. “I…I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“So instead, you let me hurt you.”
“That’s not what I said.”
“It’s what you meant though, isn’t it?” A sheen covered his eyes. Fuck, this was everything I’d been afraid of. “Tell me the truth. Did I hurt you?”
I closed my eyes as the word broke free in a whisper. “Yes.”
“How?”
My eyes flew open. “What?”
“Tell me how I hurt you. Did I embarrass you? Was it because I was flaunting your sexuality?”
Because I’m in love with you, and you’ll never want me like that.
“No, of course not.”
“Then what is it?” Silas pulled at his hair. “Fuck, Kai. Why won’t you just talk to me?”
I opened my mouth, but no words would come out. This was it. My time to be honest.
But I couldn’t do it.
Silas’s lips curled in a sneer and my heart cracked further. He’d never looked like that before. “So that’s how it’s gonna be? We’re just going to keep lying to each other?”
He shoved my chest to make me step back, but I stood my ground.
“Move,” he hissed.
“No.”
He slid from the counter, crowding me with his body like he thought that would make me move back.
Which would make sense, given what I’d just told him. But he didn’t know my issue wasn’t with him touching me.
My hands wrapped around his wrists. “I’m not lying to you, Si.”
“You’re not being honest though, are you?” His nostrils flared as he glowered up at me. “Why did you leave?”
“I can’t tell you.” Not without admitting to everything.
“Why did you nearly kiss me in the escape room?”
I stepped back at that. “I didn’t…”
He followed me like he was taunting me. “Oh yes, you did. Why’d you tell me not to come over this morning?”
“Because Tristan would be there.” That reminded me of my get-out-of-jail-free card. “I have a boyfriend, Si. I can’t be discussing these things with you.”