Page 72 of Insufferable Boss

34

Lena

I truly hoped that the meal was edible. I had gone over dinner options with Maria, and we had decided on steak. It was the one thing I could do fairly well and couldn't exactly order in. She insisted that ordering anything else would be a better option, but in the end, I decided on the steak, and now I knew why.

I wanted something more personal with him. In the moment, it didn't feel like we could have anything else that was personal. I was open to discussing it, but I couldn't even fathom it. However, sharing a meal together in this manner before indulging in whatever else the evening had in store for us felt quite apt.

And it had worked. As I glanced back to see his deep concentration on his work, I had to admit that he was no longer the distant and vexatious stranger that I wanted nothing to do with. I hadn't expected our conversations to delve into the areas of our fathers, but it made me realize how much we shared in common.

I took my plate over to join him, poured us another glass of wine, and dug in. I didn't want to admit it, but I cared about how it tasted to him. I had been hoping that the awkwardness between us would drive me to concentrate, but somewhere along the line, I had gotten distracted, and I hadn't been wowed by what I had tasted.

I had told myself that I wouldn't care or watch as he dug in after me. However, when I was barely chewing my steak and sensed, without looking directly at him, that he was enjoying it, it became undeniable that I gave a damn.

"Pretty good," he said, and something in the pit of my stomach fluttered. At first, I didn't believe him, but then, as I took another bite and the grilled lean cut melted in my mouth, I realized it wasn't half bad at all.

I turned to him, licking my lips, ready to agree, but stopped when I met his intense gaze. He was watching me closely.

"Tastes good, doesn't it?" he asked, and I decided to tease him a bit.

"The steak or my lips?" I inquired, and his gaze lifted to meet mine. At first, his expression was completely blank, but then slowly, the corners of his lips curved, and that was all I was getting. Before I could look away, his huge hand slid gently yet powerfully around the side of my neck.

I closed my eyes, not caring to question what he wanted to do. When all I sensed was his scent but not the warm, sweet taste of his lips, I opened my eyes once again. I couldn't quite tell what I was hoping for, or perhaps I just didn't want to admit it. Admit that there was something more here, because if I did, I would be tormented for not pursuing it. All my life up until this moment, there was nothing I had ever wanted yet not actively gone after, so I didn't know how to deal with the fact that this just might be the first.

He leaned forward then to kiss me, but it wasn't deep. I sensed the affection in his gaze and in the way he held me so delicately, but I knew that by wrapping his hand around me the way he had, his intention had truly not been to place a simple kiss on my lips.

"Thank you for the food," he said, and I had to keep myself from rolling my eyes. He wasn't being honest... with himself or me, because we were both aware, I was certain, that there was more. The question now remained as to which of us would have the courage to admit it.

We kept eating in silence, but I could no longer quite taste the food, which was a shame because I was already aware that it was good. There was something there, just like our relationship.

"Ready?" he asked, and I turned to look at him, a bit sour about the question.

"Ready for what?"

He watched me as though trying to figure out if I was just acting or not until eventually, I forced a smile on my face and responded.

"Oh, for that, of course," trying not to sound unimpressed.

"You don't seem like you're in the mood, though," he said, and I looked at him, wondering if he was in any way catching on to my dissatisfaction and would be able to put into words the things I couldn't outrightly say.

A long silence passed, and I quickly accepted that this was a pipe dream, but I couldn't wait until I was always in the mood either. Perhaps it was best to go at it when I had no interest, so maybe if I convinced myself hard enough that I didn't care to continue this with him, I would actually, in the end, believe it.

"I'm not," I replied truthfully, "but if it's something we can make quick work of, then I'm open."

His brows slightly raised.

"Quick work?" he asked, and I felt a little alarm blaring through me. Was I crossing a line? Was I being insensitive or dismissive?

"Yeah," I replied, giving a little smirk, and then he rose to his feet.

"You must be exhausted," he said, and my heart began to race. "So, I think I'll give you the evening off to rest. We've just hit a busy time ahead in the office."

At his words, my eyes welled up with tears because there was no doubt that I had offended him. However, I didn't know how to apologize. I didn't even know if I wanted to apologize.

I watched as he took his plate with him and dumped it in the sink, the loud clanging against the metal startling me. He gave me a nod and began heading towards the front door. It took a little while, but when I realized that I might actually be getting what I wanted and about to lose him, panic set a fire underneath my feet. I didn't have time, I had to catch up with him quickly in the foyer as he was pulling the door open.

"Wait," I said, but he didn't stop.

"Kane!" I called, and just as he was about to leave, my hand held his down on the handle.