Page 120 of Until He Confesses

She listened carefully, still a bit unsure as to what I was talking about.

"How long?" she asked, and I sighed.

"Ten years."

She finally understood what I was referring to. She pulled me into a hug and didn't let go.

"I hurt him so deeply... over and over again. He'll never forgive me."

"You don't know that," she said. "He loves you."

"Exactly," I said. "This is why it haunts me so much because... I don't want to take advantage of that."

"You should," she said. "For the both of you."

None of these words were getting to me. All I could do was pull out of her grasp.

"I have to accept how things are and just... move on."

"Okay, but you need to at least let him know you're open to some reconciliation of some sort."

This was correct, however, the last thing I for sure wanted was to let him know that I was pregnant with his baby. That was for sure to make me even more doubtful of everything, and I couldn't live my life like that. He would take instant responsibility and insist on it in whatever way, perhaps even by ruthless means if I interfered, and I didn't want that to be what we became. Sighing, I nodded for no reason, simply to bring an end to the conversation.

"I'll leave," I said. "I'm getting cramps, and I need to rest anyway. I'm dizzy."

I moved, however, she caught my hand.

"Is there a way I can help? Let me know if you have something in mind, or I'll make myself leave."

I smiled at her offer but absolutely had nothing in mind.

"No, it's fine," I said. "I don't want to be manipulative. There's enough of that already. We'll just let life happen."

I started to leave again, but she caught my hand once more.

"Apologize to him," she said. "At least. Nothing opens the door like an apology."

She was right, and so I nodded and walked out.

On my way, I kept my eye out for him, but I didn’t see him. It seemed he had escaped from the cluster of people that had surrounded him. Sighing, I headed over to the bar and once again ordered my simple cranberry juice. I needed alcohol more desperately than I ever believed could be possible. However, this I had now come to accept wouldn't be the case for the next few months. I sighed and rested, starting to rest my head on the counter before I remembered that there were probably eyes on me, and straightened myself up again. Just then, the couple beside me cleared out, and I looked up just as I received my drink.

My heart jumped into my throat when I saw who was beside me, only a few steps away. He didn't look at me and quietly savored his drink, and it was just what I expected and what I deserved.

I couldn't get out of there fast enough, but then at the last moment, and as I remembered the baby growing within me, I stopped. I looked at him, and then I went over, trying my best to muster a smile of some sort.

He didn't move away, but his stare, however, was lethal. And then it was stoic.

"Hey," I greeted, but he didn't respond.

I nodded. "I deserve that. I didn't know you'd be here," I said, but then I refused to be ingenuous. "I was hoping you'd be here," I added.

At first, he ignored this, but then he turned to me.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yeah," I replied.

"Why?" he asked.

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