Page 115 of Until He Confesses

I nodded slowly at first and then more confidently. His eyes narrowed at me. I felt fear because for sure I was about to be busted. The key was to only speak if a direct question was asked, or else I was for sure to ruin this and expose myself, so I waited until he had something to say. To my surprise, he didn't inquire any further.

"Alright," he said. "It's over."

He straightened and walked out of my arms. It was so abrupt, so curt, so emotionless that my heart sank. I didn't know what I was expecting, but for certain, it wasn't this cold and emotionless separation. No questions whatsoever were asked, and I didn't know what to think or even feel. I was naked, but I for sure felt more so than ever, and I grabbed a towel and headed out into the other room. He was seated in the chair I had been in and now had his pants on as he put on his socks and then shoes. I could do nothing but watch him until he stood to get his dress shirt, and I began to panic.

"Um... nothing to say?" I asked.

He took his time in responding.

"What's there to say?" he asked. "Our agreement was clear."

Tears stung my eyes, so I slightly turned away so he wouldn't notice and tried to suppress it with a nonchalant smile.

"Okay," I said and went over to get my clothes.

As we dressed silently, the more clothes I put on, the more reluctant I became. Eventually, my hands fell to my side, and then I turned around to face him.

"I had a good time with you," I said, and he looked up to meet my gaze. He didn't respond. Instead, he headed over to the table and grabbed his phone, keys, and jacket. It was almost as though he couldn't get out of there fast enough, and I didn't need anyone to tell me that he was fucking pissed. Or maybe he just truly didn't care.

"Your debt is paid off," he said. "You never needed to repay anyway. I did it for your mother and will always be glad to help her whenever she needs it."

"What about me?" I asked before he could leave. "Can I call on you as well when I need help?"

He looked me straight in the eyes as he gave me his answer.

"You can do whatever you want," he said. "I'll choose whether to respond or not."

My heart hurt even more, and it came so close to a similar feeling of unexplainable heartbreak and despair that I had once felt from losing him.

"Okay," I said, convincing myself that this was for the best. I turned around, preparing to hear him walk through the door but at the last moment, he stopped. I could hear him sigh all the way from the door, and then he turned around to look at me.

"I'm a twin," he said. "Did I ever make this distinction clear to you?"

I was shocked at his words, but then it soon dissipated.

"No," I said. "But we rarely talked about your family, if ever. I only know you had a brother." He nodded.

"Well, my brother, who passed away, was my twin, and the video that you saw was of him and not me."

This time around, it was as though my entire world had screeched to a halt. There was so much to process all at once, so I looked down from his gaze to run it through my head and then returned my attention to him.

"What?" was the only thing I could say.

"We did some investigations over the past week, and we were able to find the link to one of his partners from back then. It took me a little while to connect the dots after I found out from Anna why you broke up with me, for several reasons but mostly because none of us were aware that he was gay. He kept this to himself, and even until now, I only know because of your mention of his past partner."

I could do nothing but stare at him as he offered this explanation, and once again, it was as though my entire life was about to shift again. I felt dizzy but I shut my eyes briefly and tried to control myself, not to seem too affected. Currently, everything seemed dangerous, and I felt incredibly vulnerable. I was so desperate to believe him that I had to ask myself if I could.

55

LUCAS

Iwatched as she processed the information I gave her, and although the last thing I wanted was to care, I couldn't help but hold my breath. This moment was so crucial, and I couldn't look away from her eyes. I didn't want to miss a single second of seeing how she would react to this, whether she would believe me, and we could once again have a chance, a true chance, or if she would ignore it like before.

"You..." she shook her head. "You found him? How?"

I was about to tell her that he had reached out to Anna, but thankfully I stopped myself in time because she hadn't yet told me about it. I didn't know how to answer this question. She read too much into my hesitation and turned away from me, which I didn't understand. Eventually, I watched as she went ahead with gathering her things as though what I said meant nothing. It was time to leave. I knew this, however, I had to ask, "You don't believe me, do you?"

She stopped then, but she didn't respond, and I didn't think I could feel as furious and angry as I did.

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