Page 91 of Merciless Desires

Such a heavy burden, this conflict between duty and desire. If I spare Natalia’s life, I am betraying Boris and the Bratva. But if I take her life, I will be ending the one bright light that has pierced through the heavy shroud of darkness surrounding me.

Pfft! I say “if” as though I haven’t already made the decision.

With a sigh, I drain my glass and rub a hand over my face. The choice has already been made. The moment I brought her here to my estate, I knew would not kill Natalia. If I’m honest, I knew long before.

My loyalty to the Bratva is strong, but this new loyalty I feel to Natalia runs deeper still.

Leaning back in my chair, I tap the keyboard to wake my computer. The multiple displays flicker to life, showing various security feeds from around the house. I click through them absently, seeking one view in particular. There—the Jasmine Suite. The sight of Natalia in the large four-poster bed makes my pulse quicken. I enlarge the feed, taking in every detail.

She's asleep on her side, facing away from the hidden camera. Her back rises and falls gently with each breath. Golden hair splays across the pillows in messy disarray. The sheet clings to the curve of her hip.

My fingers twitch with the urge to caress her skin, to trail my hands down the alluring arch of her spine, grip those flared hips as I take her hard from behind...

A groan rumbles in my chest and I shift in my chair. I ache to go to her, bury myself in her softness for a few blissful hours.

Instead, I reach again for the vodka, hoping to drown the thorny tangle of emotions choking me.

I don’t deserve light and kindness, beauty and passion. Not after the horrors I’ve inflicted, the stains on my soul.

I swirl the remaining vodka, staring sightlessly into its crystalline depths. I know this with grim certainty—my feelings for her may destroy me. She is a weakness that can be exploited.

Resolution settles over my liquor-soaked mind. There will be consequences, but I feel bound to her as tightly as any wedding vows could forge.

Before I fully comprehend what I am doing, I rise unsteadily and leave my office. My shoulder slams into the doorjamb on the way out. Fuck.

Weaving down the halls, I make my way through my home. The haze of alcohol fuels my steps but cannot be blamed for this madness. The need to go to her is primal and undeniable.

At her door I halt, wavering on the precipice. I should turn back. Instead, I quietly turn the handle and step inside.

Natalia's eyes fly open as I stride toward the bed. She scrambles into a sitting position, pulling the sheet up to cover herself.

“Natalia…” I trail off weakly, unable to tear my gaze from her. So proud, her delicate jaw held high.

"Viktor, what—"

Slowly I approach her as one might a skittish deer, and gently I take her shoulders in my hands, feeling her tremble. Our eyes lock and an unspoken understanding passes between us. Loneliness. Longing. Need.

With care, I lower myself next to her and draw her into my embrace. She resists only a moment before melting against me. Her hair is loose and smells of oranges and I bury my face in the silken strands, breathing her in like she's oxygen to a drowning man.

I keep her wrapped in my embrace for long moments, the only sounds are her soft sigh and the thunder of my heartbeat in my ears. Eventually, she lifts her face to peer up at me. Unable to resist, I cup her face and gently brush feather-light kisses over her forehead, her temples, the delicate shell of her ear, and her lips.

Her plump lips are impossibly soft beneath mine and a low sound rumbles in my chest. She makes a quivering sound, angling her head to grant me access. My veins hum with desire but I keep my movements unhurried, my touches light and reverent. I want—need—to show her this tenderness.

As my lips glide along the graceful column of her neck she arches into me with a shuddering sigh. I smile against her heated skin, nipping and suckling until I drag a gasp from her. Her nightgown has slipped off one creamy shoulder and I trail open-mouthed kisses down to the swell of her breast.

Her fingers tangle almost painfully in my hair, urging me on. I lavish attention on the pebbled peak of one breast then the other, my hands molding and caressing her responsive flesh. Her head falls back, lips parted around panting breaths.

Slowly I peel off her nightgown, worshiping every inch of silken skin revealed with my hands and mouth until she is trembling and breathless beneath me. Her fingers fumble at my shirt buttons and I lean back to shrug out of my clothes before pressing the warm length of my naked body to hers.

We both moan at the contact. Her arms come around me as I settle between her slender thighs. I take her mouth again and her hips rise instinctively to cradle my aching cock. Our kiss is a heated tangle of lips, teeth, and tongues.

She is so perfect beneath me. Our bodies seem made to fit together. She clings to me urgently, nails raking down my back.

"Please," she whimpers against my lips, her body undulating restlessly against mine.

The shreds of my control unravel. Bracing myself above her, I look into her lust-glazed eyes and see my own wild longing reflected there. Agonizingly slowly I ease inside her tight silken heat.

We both cry out sharply. I pause, trembling with the monumental effort of holding back until I am fully seated within her, our bodies joined. Her thighs clench around my hips, heels digging into my ass urgently.

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