Page 269 of Merciless Desires

“For you, amorina.”

The sight of Mamma in a hospital bed, listening to Gisella’s lame teen gossip, made me freeze.

Matteo slammed into my back and his hand slipped around my waist, holding me against him.

“You okay?” His question was delivered to the top of my head with a kiss.

“Tesoro…” Mamma began, but her gaze rose higher, and I knew she was looking at the wall of man behind me. “Oddio.”

“He’s hot, Mamma,” Gisella fake whispered.

Matteo chuckled, the sound rumbling through me, and he pushed us further into the room. “Hello, Gisella. Hello, Mrs. Moretti.”

Mamma frowned. “I didn’t want to meet you like…this.”

She lifted her hand, untangling the cord for the pulse sensor on her pointer finger and the IV tubing.

Matteo gently nudged me to the side and stepped around me. “I think we’re all aware that my timing is not perfect.”

Mamma laughed softly and slowly sat up, squeezing her eyes tightly throughout the action. Matteo pushed forward and helped her. Hooking the leg of the chair behind him with his foot, he dragged it toward him without looking. He sat and kissed Mamma’s hand, speaking softly to her, but I couldn’t hear him.

Gisella stared at me, wide-eyed and completely dazed, while my heart thrummed in my chest at the subtle actions of the man I would marry.

My attraction to him was addicting, the hum in my veins something I could get used to, and all it took was a single glance over his shoulder toward me. The wink…that was a welcomed bonus.

My sister placed her hand on my elbow, dragging my attention from Matteo. “Papà took Annabella to get a snack. Let me tell you what happened.”

I followed her into the hall, and my heart absolutely broke when Gisella started crying.

“She said her heart was hurting and she couldn’t breathe right.”

I pulled Gisella into a hug and let her cry. She was no longer oblivious to Mamma’s health because I wasn’t there to hide her from it, to tell her that Mamma was okay. I had sheltered my sisters from the reality that there were no answers about what was going on with Mamma.

For the past five months, I had lied to my sisters. When Mamma couldn’t walk, I had told them her legs were tired, not that they didn’t work. I told them she was too tired to spend time with them, that she wasn’t sleeping well, instead of the horrible truth of her unknown condition causing her pain and weakness and distress.

I had been the one to hold Mamma’s hand while she cried and listed off the things she had wanted to do with us before she died, but believed she wouldn’t get the chance to now. I had sat in on the meetings with our lawyer, listening as Mamma made me the executor to her will, and I was stone-faced as she discussed her funeral arrangements.

While I was preparing to bury our Mamma, Gisella was arguing with Papà about stupid teenager shit, and Annabella was playing with her dolls. I had protected them…from this.

From the pain of not knowing if Mamma would be alive when we woke in the morning.

“Is she going to be okay?” Gisella sobbed, pulling back to peer up at me with a sliver of hope in her reddened eyes.

Should I continue to lie? I wasn’t there to protect her from seeing this, and I knew Papà hadn’t been the one to find Mamma. It had probably been Gisella.

“I don’t know,” I sighed. “I hope so. I really do. And that’s all we can do. Smile and don’t let her know you’re scared, okay? It’s okay to be scared. I’m scared.”

“I can’t lose her.”

“I know. What has been done since she’s been admitted?”

Gisella’s brows furrowed, and it took her a moment to realize what I meant. “Oh…um, she’s had bloodwork, some kind of heart rate thing with stickers…”

“EKG.”

“Yeah, that. And a chest x-ray. To look for blood clots in her lungs.”

“And?” I prompted.

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