Page 200 of Merciless Desires

“But these chairs…” I gestured at the unfeasibly soft club chair I was sitting comfortably in.

“But this view,” he fired back.

He was referring to the one outside the window but his gaze was glued to me.

I stood and walked to the window, then held my dress as I sat, making sure my knees were covered. I’d never liked my knees. I glanced nervously sideways at him. He’d tipped his head back and closed his eyes.

Stifling a small smile, I opened the book at page thirty-two and began to read.

By the time I’d turned the page to chapter four, my side had become pressed into his and his arm had somehow snuck around my back to rest against my right hip. His chin rested on my left shoulder, his breath warming my collar bone. My own breath became tight as I tried not to move.

As my pause lengthened his eyes opened slowly.

I lifted my hand and rested the tips of my fingers against the dips and swells of his scars. He flinched slightly, then gently held my wrist as if to say it was okay that I touch him.

“Who did this to you?” I whispered.

His breathing became heavier, deeper, and a full minute passed before he answered.

“Only the person who joins herself to me forever will know. She is the only one I will trust.”

His gaze flicked to me as I tried to cover the disappointment in my features. I knew what he meant by those words. I wasn’t that person. I wasn’t her. So I would never have the privilege of knowing his most haunting secret. I felt the sharpness of a blade against my chest and mentally shook it away.

The next words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. “Who is she?”

His gaze panned back to me and his head tilted backwards as thought the proximity to me made him uncomfortable. “I don’t know. I’m not sure I’ve met her yet.”

My heart sank even further. He didn’t even know who he was looking for. But he was so strong-willed, so clear of thought, and so determined, he would know her the second he saw her.

For some reason, that thought loosened my inhibitions. I wasn’t the one for him. The pressure to have him like me, weirdly, was relieved. My lips fell as loose as my tension.

“I think these scars are beautiful.”

I ran my fingers over them, awestruck at the intricacy of the patterns and the crevices.

“What?” His tone was harsh and I felt his torso stiffen, but it didn’t affect me now I knew I wasn’t even in the running. I continued to trace the lines of the skin grafts and where his skin had tried to heal itself.

“Doesn’t it amaze you what our bodies can do?” I whispered. “Your skin doesn’t care what it looks like. It only cares that it can protect you. That’s why it’s healed in this ridge-like formation. It’s learned that there is evil out there and it’s given you tougher armour. Do you know how loving that is?”

He turned away from my hand and I let it drop to the book in my lap, but I wasn’t finished.

“Something inside of you is so strong it wants to you to carry on. It wants to keep you protected so you can do whatever it was you were put on this earth to do.”

I gently turned his face towards me, ignoring the redness in his eyes. It was either sadness or fury, and I didn’t mind which. Dalziel Thorn was a furnace of emotion. If he held it all in for much longer, he would spontaneously combust.

“You shouldn’t hide away from it, Dax. These marks are proof that you can conquer anything. We’ve been conditioned to think only a certain look can be labelled ‘beautiful’ but if you look back over centuries of art, many different forms have been given that moniker. Really, the only person who needs to think you’re beautiful is… you.”

He stared at me for a long, heart-wrenching moment, then lifted himself up to his knees to face me.

“What about you, Rose?” His voice was gravelly. “What about your scars?”

I was backed up against the window but I felt bold. “I know my scars are why you chose me. You thought that if I felt flawed too, I wouldn’t be as choosy as another woman. I’d feel grateful, even, to have been selected when I have such hideous scars across my back.”

He paled and sat back on his heels. “That’s not true.”

I let the book fall to the floor and reached for his hands. “Don’t feel bad about that. It’s human nature to try to appeal to someone you feel is in your league. Nobody wants to be rejected.”

A dark shadow crossed his face. “You… you think you’re in my league?”

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