Page 195 of Merciless Desires

I couldn’t put too much blame on myself for dreaming. Guiding that exquisite woman around the dancefloor to the most ingenious piece of music ever written was possibly the highlight of my life so far. My heart swelled under the weight of her undivided attention. She listened to the few words I said as though she actually heard them. She rose to the challenge of asking meaningful questions, even though I refused to answer.

I wasn’t ready to tell her what had happened. I wasn’t ready to tell anyone. Even my family. My father was the strongest man I knew but knowing the truth about where my scars came from would break his heart.

My head was full of the sight of her lips asking me to kiss her, the sound of her breath as we skated across the floor. So, when a large figure stepped out in front of me, almost knocking me out cold, I swore like a sailor with a foghorn.

“Jeez, Dax! Look where you’re going.”

My cousin, Rupert, middle son of my father’s brother Sinclair stared at me, his face fixed in shocked annoyance.

“What the fuck? Where are you going this time of night?”

He frowned. “I should be the one asking you. I haven’t seen you outside the North Tower in months. If I hadn’t been to visit you on the regular, then I’m not sure I’d recognise you.”

“I just went for a walk.” I shoved my hands in my trouser pockets.

“Dressed in a tux?”

Fuck. I forgot about that. “Just taking it for a spin.”

“You’re taking a tux for a spin?” His cocked brow told me he was not buying my bullshit. “Now look what you’ve done. You’ve got me all intrigued. I’m not going to leave you alone until you tell me where you’ve been.”

I huffed out a breath. “Fine. I’ve been at dinner.”

His eyes widened. “With whom?”

“No one you know.” Shit. If I could have kicked myself without him seeing, I would have done so several times.

“This is the Isle of Crow, Dax. Everyone knows everyone.” He brought himself closer and lowered his voice. “What are you hiding?”

My eyes searched his for any suggestion he might do something underhand with whatever information I gave him – that was generally the way with my family – but all I saw was genuine interest, laced with a little concern. Because that’s how people looked at me now. With concern. Concern for my body, concern for my mental health, concern for my lonely heart.

I decided to err on the side of caution. “It was Gerry’s birthday.”

Rupert bit back a smile. “Gerry? Your security guy? You two a thing?”

I punched his arm but he didn’t even wince. The man was made of steel. I thought I was a battle-axe in the weights room but I was nothing compared to Rupert.

“No. But even if we were, I wouldn’t hide it. Anyway, he’s been working like a damn trojan these last few weeks and I thought he deserved some kind of recognition.”

“Why didn’t you just buy dinner for him and his partner?”

I felt the back of my neck start to sweat. Rupert wasn’t buying my story and was gleefully rejoicing in making this more difficult than it needed to be.

“Because… I wanted to show some interest in him. Isn’t that what good bosses do?”

Rupert snorted. “In any other world but this one.”

For a few seconds we shared a look of recognition, a silent acknowledgement of the fucked-up family and fucked-up way of life we’d all been raised in.

He pushed himself off the wall. “Yeah, well, I’ll let you get on.”

“Sure,” I replied, feeling my nerve endings sigh with relief.

“You look good, cuz,” he said, as I walked past. “You should do more stuff that requires a tux.”

I glared at him. I didn’t look good. I looked like a giant skin graft in a custom suit.

“Goodnight Rupert,” I bit out. I felt his pitying eyes on my back as I walked away.

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