Page 177 of Merciless Desires

“I’m just going to speak, okay? You don’t have to talk back, or react, or do anything that makes your headache worse. But I can’t go all night without telling you this, and I think you would want to know.”

She let loose another light grown which I took to mean I should go ahead.

“Jeff just hit me, Mum.”

Mum’s breathing stuttered and both her eyes opened. They were glazed but still managed to pierce me with feeling.

I reached for her hand and squeezed it gently. “I’m so sorry.”

She continued to stare at me, unblinking.

“I didn’t provoke him, Mum, I promise. Not that it matters,” I added with almost a laugh.

Mum’s eyes registered no emotion.

“You know how Penelope Ross has been bullying me ever since I started sixth form? And how I’ve just kept my head down and tried to ignore it?” I heard myself rambling and, on some level, wondered why I felt the need to explain myself. “Well, today she went too far and I… Well, I lost it.”

Mum nodded her head briefly, pressing me to finish.

“I tipped my beer over her head in the middle of The Six.”

When I got no reaction, I continued. “To be honest, it was tame compared to what I’d like to do to her, but you raised me well, Mum. I know I shouldn’t have given in to her, but it’s the last day, and I got my grades, and…”

My voice trailed off as Mum’s stare began to unnerve me.

“Her father must have told Jeff because he’s mad. He’s been drinking too, Mum. It’s been every night now for months. Anyway… he didn’t like that I did that to Penelope and he just… he hit me.”

Mum’s stare didn’t waver.

“He hit me really hard, Mum. My head hit the stairs.”

I couldn’t believe I was trying to get her to empathise when the words ‘he hit me’ should have been enough.

After several seconds of uncomfortable silence, Mum closed her eyes again and rolled away from me.

My own breath stuttered in my lungs at the realisation she might not take my side. She was my mum. It was impossible. Unthinkable.

I held back the tear-laden choke that threatened to erupt and patted her shoulder.

“I’ll let you sleep. We can talk about it in the morning.”

I was on my feet and halfway to the door when she spoke again.

“Talk about what?”

I did a double take in the dark and my chest hollowed with the onset of grief.

“Nothing,” I whispered and curled my fingers around the door handle.

“Congratulations on your grades,” she said, her tone lifeless.

“Thanks.” I closed the door behind me and walked away.

You didn’t even ask what I got.

Chapter Two

Rose

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