Page 38 of First Comes Revenge

I bite my lip. This isn’t the conversation I expected afterwards. He’s making it sound like this is the first of many. “Hm, I don’t know. Can I hire a different coach?”

He rolls on top of me again. He pins my hands over my head again, then plants a slow, passionate kiss on my mouth. “Fuck, no. You’re welcome to say this is still pretend and practice. But I have a confession.”

I wait, heart pounding.

“The time we’ve spent together hasn’t been pretend for me. I like you, Charli.” His eyebrows draw together. “I want this to work. Not just to piss off Vaughn or any of that. I want this to work just because of you. All the other shit is secondary.”

I know what I want to say. I want to melt. I want to tug him down so he can kiss me again and send me floating into bliss. But there’s still part of me deep inside that’s raw, open, and bleeding. I find myself talking out of fear instead of from my heart. “I’m in a really weird place right now,” I say slowly. “Any other time and I’d be on the exact same page. I just… I’m so scared to get hurt again. It might be easier for me to keep this one step away from real. For now,” I add.

Disappointment flashes across Jameson’s expression, but he covers it up quickly, nodding. “I’m a patient man. Actually, that’s a lie. But I can be patient for you.” He kisses my forehead, smiling. “I’ll go get you something comfortable to sleep in.” He releases the cuffs, then runs his fingers over where the metal was against my skin and inspects it. He seems satisfied with what he sees. He plants a kiss on both my wrists, grinning. “You’re just practicing sleeping over after we fuck, of course,” he adds.

I smile, even though something inside me is screaming to stop being such an idiot. I want to just tell him I feel everything he feels. I just… I can’t make myself do it. It’s like climbing up to a lakeside cliff and walking all the way to the edge. I can’t take that final step and trust the waters beneath me. I can’t fully believe there won’t be rocks hiding just beneath the cool, inviting waters.

“Okay,” I say. “I’ll practice sleeping over.”

“Perfect.” He stands, apparently without an ounce of self-consciousness for his nudity. Then again, I can’t imagine many peoplewouldbe self-conscious if they looked like he does. He rubs his hands together. “Food? Are you hungry? I can whip something up.”

“You don’t have to cook for me,” I say, tugging the covers up to my neck. His bed is so comfy, and his smell is everywhere. I want to bottle it up and steal some to keep.

“I was planning to feed you after the zoo. You’ve got to be hungry.”

“You did all the work,” I laugh.

“Sandwiches? Do you eat sandwiches? Salad? Yogurt? Takeout? I could go grab something.”

“Peanut Butter and jelly?”

He claps, then points. He’s smiling like he’s actually happy that I’mlettinghim take care of me. “You got it. Don’t move. I mean, you can move. But stay there.”

I nod my head. It’s not a hard command. I feel like I could curl up and live in this bed.

It’s what happens after I leave that I’m afraid of, anyway. So I decide to shut off my brain for tonight. Tonight, I’ll live in this pretty little dream where a perfect, gorgeous man makes me have two incredible orgasms and then goes to nakedly make me dinner in bed.

Eventually, I’ll have to wake up, but I’m going to enjoy this dream as long as it lasts.

15

JAMESON

I’m waiting outside a deli roughly halfway between the offices ofLandmarkandGray Wolfe. It’s chilly, early evening, and the city streets are busy with cars and people, like usual. My mind is busy with thoughts of what I did with Charli, but I’m trying to stay focused on the moment, as much as I want to live in memories of last night.

This morning, I made her breakfast in bed and tried to convince her to stick around longer. Eventually, she made her excuses and left. I haven’t stopped trying to figure out how to get her back to my place since.

But I need to at least get my shit together for this meeting, because it could be important.

Griffon Vanderlesh reached out today and asked to meet with Nolan and me. Nolan suggested refusing, but I couldn’t quite help myself. When I heard Vaughn would be coming along with his father, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to meet.

Nolan sips his water and throws me an annoyed look. “Tell me we aren’t only here because you are into that girl and Vaughn dated her. Is this some ego dick-measuring thing?”

I purse my lips in thought. “No,” I say slowly. “Sometimes you don’t even need to pull the cocks out and start measuring. It’s just that obvious.”

Nolan sighs. “I hateLandmarkas much as you. Just keep in mind we’re not in the strongest position right now. They’ve got their boots on our necks. I would rather wait until we get our footing again to provoke them.”

I give my friend a look of disgust. “Come on. When did my ruthless business partner get so fucking meek? We’ve always enjoyed provoking these assholes.”

“I am ruthless,” he says, eyes blazing with anger. “That’s why I’m not willing to indulge some fantasy of revenge and payback if it’s going to be bad for our company. Gray Wolfe comes first.”

“Ah,” I say, holding up my index finger. “But if things play out the way I’m planning, my fantasy of revenge is going to be exactly what helps get us back on track. Remember?” The too-familiar guilt seeps through me. I already felt like absolute shit for the way my plan throws Charli’s needs under the bus. After yesterday and this morning, I feel even worse about it.

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